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Philosophy)and)Psychoanalysis:)
Re-vitalizing Contemporary Living
John Hanwell Riker
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+(6&=!!First, the mobility demanded by economic society has significantly diminished the
possibility of having an extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) participate in
the difficult chores of childrearing. Second, and most important, it is quite common for
both parents to have to work, in part because two incomes are necessary to sustain
material adequacy for many households, but mainly because having a position within the
socioeconomic world is necessary for one to have an identity—to be “someone.” Third,
when caretakers do come home from work, they are often exhausted and tense from the
hassles of the day and unable to be the source of selfobject supplies either for one another
or for their children. It is not unusual for caretakers to soothe themselves with an
alcoholic elixir, making them less able to be fully responsive to the selfobject needs of
their children, who all too often disappear into their rooms to electronically network with
other desperate children in other homes. In short, if intensive care, empathy, and the
presence of calm, strong caretakers are needed in order for selves to come into existence,
the typical contemporary Western household is incredibly impoverished.
There is another way in which contemporary economic society fails to sustain
whatever self structure might have been developed in adults. Before the last quarter of
the twentieth century, it was not uncommon for friendships to develop within the
workplace; indeed, for many the workplace came to provide the supportive social
connections that the village used to. Two prongs of modern society intersected to
significantly diminish the availability of selfobject supplies for adults in the workplace.
First, the increasing demand that all decisions about personnel be made on the strict basis
of objectively certified competence and objective economic factors rather than “old-boy
networks” or friendships significantly increased the insecurity and competitiveness with
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one’s fellow workers. Second, when women entered the professional workforce in large
numbers, there was a tendency of men to sexualize the workplace in an egregious and
unjust way. This sexualization had to be eliminated, but with its elimination a certain
amount of normal human warmth, care, and concern also left the workplace. In short, the
workplace is less a realm of friendship and camaraderie than it used to be, and as such
has become an institution less able to give empathic selfobject supplies to adults.
To be clear, I think that operating under a code of objectively determined merit is
a great improvement over the “old boy networks” and that the workplace needs to be as
free of sexual tensions as possible. However, genuine empathy and care for one’s fellow
workers need not be diminished in any way in order for these values to be achieved.
Indeed, empathy counters sexualization by being genuinely concerned for an other rather
than being focused on one’s desire for that other.
In short, the problem with contemporary society is that is undermines the social
conditions necessary for the development and sustenance of selves, thus producing a
rampant narcissism. We should note that it is precisely such narcissistically wounded
persons that are best able to run the machinery of capitalist economics and generate the
ever-expanding consumer markets it needs to persist. Narcissistically wounded persons
will work as hard as they can to attain the statuses and wealth that will seem to give them
the sense of self-worth that they internally lack. While no outer goods can ever fill this
inner void, the fantasy persists that they can; and so wounded people need to buy more
and more and attain higher positions in order to buy the more and more. The culture
creates just the kind of persons it most needs: narcissistically injured persons who are
driven to work and consume.
!
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Hopefully, the above explains why there persists such a sense of de-vitalization in
contemporary living, despite the presence of endlessly exciting opportunities and
adventures. What can we do about it? I do not think that economic society is going to
disappear any time soon, but I think we can combat its most destructive practices and
conceptual pressures by forming our own values about how to go about living well. How
can we do this? Probably in many ways, but, obviously, what I am proclaiming today is
the power of philosophy and psychoanalysis to free the soul and spirit. I will not say
anything more about the power of philosophy, as I hope to have demonstrated in this talk
its power to critique cultural presuppositions and open the mind to other possibilities. I
will just say that philosophy classes can be genuinely transforming, as many of you
already know.
My second suggestion is not, as you might suspect, to get an analysis, for it is
almost impossible to find a genuinely qualified analyst and difficult to afford one without
any sociopolitical support. Rather, I suggest that we adopt a psychoanalytically informed
way of being in the world. And this involves adopting three primary orientations towards
life: first, paying attention to unconscious meanings as they appear in your dreams,
symptoms, and mistakes; second, adopting the practice of empathy in your relations with
all human beings, and, third, organizing your lives around the spontaneous, irrational
erotic eruptions that spring up from the depths of your psyches.
As I want to say a lot about empathy and erotic eruptions, I will only say a quick
word about listening to one’s unconscious, as important as this activity is. By attending
especially to your dreams and your mistakes, you can have a full exorbitant psychic life
rather than just the thin psychological existence of a nicely organized conscious day-life.
!
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Every significant transformation I made in my twenty years of therapy began from a
strange, compelling dream in which meanings surfaced that revealed truths about myself
that I did not know or understand in my conscious life. Marcia and I have shared our
dreams since the beginning of our marriage and they have deepened our relationship
immeasurably—we have a grasp of what is going on in the unconscious of the other and
can help them with our perceptions, interpretations, and empathic acceptance. Being in
touch with the unconscious realm of meaning and desire makes one a more complete
human being.
Empathy: Empathy is the ability to sense what another subject is internally
feeling and mimetically reproducing that feeling in one’s own subjective state without
identifying with it. I experience Mary’s sadness sadly, but it is Mary who is sad, not me.
I experience Molly’s jubilation jubilantly, but it is her jubilation, not mine. What we
learn from recent psychoanalytic practice is that empathic responsiveness is the deepest
way to make another feel affirmed and understood. It is a kind of connectivity in which
one person is saying to another, “You are so important that I will make myself feel just
like you.” Empathy confirms the worth of the other’s subjectivity by responding to it with
a mirroring affirmation in one’s own subjectivity.
What is crucial about empathy is the absence of judgment. In empathy I allow
myself to experience what you are experiencing just for what it is without judging it as
being good or bad. Judgment always conceptualizes and objectifies; empathy simply
affirms the other as a subject. If empathy is the psychic food the self needs to develop
and sustain its self-esteem, then several current social practices among the young need to
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"\!
be questioned, in particular, their excessive use of electronic communication and their
reluctance to form committed love relationships and friendships.
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