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We encourage you to select at least one of your audition pieces from the list below. When

selecting your monologues, please feel free to choose irrespective of gender.

THE CULTURE: Laura Jackson (AUS) ............................................................................................ 2

CLOUD NINE: Caryl Churchill (UK) ................................................................................................. 4

MR BAILEY’S MINDER: Debra Oswald (AUS) .............................................................................. 12

THIS RANDOM WORLD: Steven Dietz ......................................................................................... 13

HEROES: Gabriel Bergmoser ........................................................................................................ 14

LOVE: Patricia Cornelius (AUS) ..................................................................................................... 15

ESCAPE FROM HAPPINESS: George F Walker (CDN) ............................................................... 16

NSFW: Lucy Kirkwood (UK) ........................................................................................................... 17

OSAMA THE HERO: Dennis Kelly (UK) ........................................................................................ 18

GIRLS LIKE THAT: Evan Placey ................................................................................................... 19

SECRET BRIDESMAIDS’ BUSINESS: Elizabeth Coleman (AUS) ................................................ 20

THIS UNCHARTED HOUR: Finnegan Kruckemeyer (AUS) .......................................................... 21

& Christos Tsiolkas (AUS) .............................................................................................................. 28

PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS: Duncan MacMillan (UK) .......................................................... 29

BOYS: Ella Hickson (UK) ............................................................................................................... 30

THE RETURN: Reg Cribb (AUS) ................................................................................................... 31

BOY SLAUGHTER: Maxine Mellor (AUS) ...................................................................................... 32

LOVE: Patricia Cornelius (AUS) ..................................................................................................... 33

THIS UNCHARTED HOUR: Finegan Kruckemeyer (AUS) ............................................................ 34

GORGON: Elena Carapetis (AUS) ................................................................................................. 35

A VIEW OF CONCRETE: Gareth Ellis (AUS) ................................................................................ 36

JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS: Tom Wells (UK) ........................................................................... 37

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THE CULTURE: Laura Jackson (AUS)

WILL: I was walking home from the station, about midnight. I’d been out at this

shitty little bar, and I’d been flirting with a real-live guy.

He leans into me and tells me to go and buy us another round. The

second I have my back turned, he has his tongue down the throat of

the guy next to me, his hand up in this guy’s perfect hair. I just left. I

couldn’t get it out of my head

I couldn’t get it out of my head. So much that I wasn’t paying any

attention to where I was or how I was walking. It wasn’t until I heard her

gasp, that I even saw the woman walking down the street in front of

me.

She’s scared of me. She is scared of ME.

And here’s the fucked thing. My initial reaction wasn’t, “oh shit, better

back off. I’ve scared the lady.” No, my reaction was actually to be kind

of pissed.

Cause in my head I was like “Fuck off lady. Just because I’m a dude

and you’re a chick. Just because it’s late and dark and whatever the

fuck else, doesn’t mean I’m going to drag you behind that dumpster

and cut you into little pieces. Fuck you, you don’t even know me.”

That was my reaction. Anger. Angry. That’s fucked up.

That’s fucked up. And look, in my defence it did dawn on me, that

“Imagine feeling like her.” Thats the thing. I feel exactly like that.

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faced, when this car slows down next to me, full of guys, so that the guy

in the passenger seat can say “Yeeeeew, what’s up beautiful?”, while

down.

They’re really close to me, rolling along slowly, and my heart is pounding

in my ears, because you don’t know what a car full of guys is capable

of, so it takes me a couple of seconds to gather myself to react. I look

sticks his finger up out the window.

I’m standing there in shock. For about ten seconds. Until another car - I

am not exaggerating - another car with a male driver, beeps at me as

he drives past. Two in the space of ten seconds.

Here’s the thing. If I called a friend, called the police about this, they’d

say: can you describe what happened? And I’d hear: “So one guy

called you beautiful, and the other beeped their horn at you. Can’t you

just take it as a compliment?”

If I have to have this argument one more time...

In order for a compliment to work, the person you are complimenting

has to FEEL complimented. A compliment is an exchange: I politely

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CLOUD NINE: Caryl Churchill (UK)

it. I used to touch myself when I was very little, I thought I’d invented

something wonderful. I used to do it to go to sleep with or to cheer myself

up, and one day it was raining and I was under the kitchen table, and

my mother saw me with my hand under my dress rubbing away, and she

dragged me out so quickly I hit my head and it bled and I was sick, and

nothing was said, and I never did it again till this year. I thought if Clive

wasn’t looking at me there wasn’t a person there. And one night in bed

in my flat I was so frightened I started touching myself. I thought my hand

might go through into space. I touch my face, it was there, my arm, my

breast, and my hand sent down where I thought it shouldn’t, and I

felt triumphant because I was a separate person from them. And I cried

because I didn’t want to be. But I don’t cry about it any more. Sometimes

I do it three times in one night and it really is great fun.

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SPIKE HEELS: Theresa Rebeck

GEORGIE: Yeah, right, he “gave” me the damn job. I fucking work my ass off for that

jerk; he doesn’t give me shit. I earn it, you know? He “gave” me the job.

I just love that. What does that mean, that I should be working at

McDonald’s or something, that’s what I really deserve or something?

Bullshit. Fuck you, that is such fucking bullshit. You think I don’t know how

to behave in public or something? Jesus, I was a goddamn waitress for

seven years, the customers fucking loved me. You think I talk like this in

front of strangers; you think I don’t have a brain in my head or something?

That is so fucking condescending. Anytime I lose my temper, I’m crazy, is

that it? You don’t know why I threw that pencil, you just assume. You just

make these assumptions. Well, fuck you, Andrew. I mean it. Fuck you.

I mean, I just love that. You don’t even know. You’ve never seen me in

that office. You think I’m like, incapable of acting like somebody I’m

not? For four months I’ve been scared to death but I do it, you know. I

take messages, I call the court, I write his damn letters. I watch my

mouth, I dress like this – whatever this is; these are the ugliest clothes I

this other person for them because I do want this job but there is a point

something? You think you have the last word on reality? You do, you

You think you are; Jesus Christ, you guys think you own the world. I

mean, who made up these rules, Andrew? And do you actually think

we’re buying it?

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THE WRITER: Ella Hickson (UK)

WRITER: Because you genuinely enjoy a sofa. And I know that sounds elitist and a

bit cunty and I sound like a narcissistic prick but there are cheerful people

who sit all day and watch TV and love it. You are never happier than in

the exotic foods aisle at Waitrose selecting a new selection of snacking

nuts and sometimes, I stand there, with the trolley and I feel like I’m

dissolving inside just watching your capacity for happiness. And in me, for

some reason, snacking nuts, exotic or otherwise, don’t stop this constant

need for something – bigger – all the time. I want awe. I feel like I need

blood. All the time. And anything less than that makes me feel desperate.

It makes me feel like I want to die. Either I can feel real but I’m living in a

world of cartoons or you and the world are real and I feel like I go see-

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RED: John Logan

Christ almighty, try working for you for a living! –

The talking-talking-talking-Jesus-Christ-won’t-he-ever-shut-up titanic self-

absorption of the man!

You stand there trying to look so deep when you’re nothing but a

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We have all been ‘weighed in the balance and have been found

wanting.’ He approached ROTHKO.

longer believe those people exist... So you lose faith...

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LUNGS: Duncan Macmillan (UK)

W: Look, alright, listen, you have to understand alright, I'm thinking out

please alright don't just jump in if I say something wrong or stupid just

of myself always defined myself okay as a person who would, that my

purpose in life that my function on this planet would be to and not

that I ever thought about it like that it's only now because you're

asking or not asking but mentioning, starting the conversation only

because of that that I'm now even thinking about it but it's always sort

of been a given for me an assumption ever since I was a little girl

never cared about it being a boy or girl just small and soft and

adorable and with that milky head smell and the tiny socks and

giggles and yes vomit even it's all part of it, looking after it, caring for

I've never ever questioned it. Never.

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ESCAPE FROM HAPPINESS: George F Walker (CDN)

mean. Really. I think I meant Elizabeth is great. She’d like her because

maybe I don’t really want to be a lesbian. Maybe I just want to

be…great…Do I have to be a lesbian to be great…I’ll ask Elizabeth. She

wasn’t always a lesbian. She wasn’t always great, either. What came

first. The lesbianism or the greatness. When did she become lesbianistic.

Is that a word. Use it in a sentence. Never mind. It’s beside the point. Just

ask her. Okay. Yeah. Of course, she hardly ever listens to me. Unless I cry.

When I cry she listens. Okay. Yeah. I’ll cry. It’s demeaning. But I’ll do it.

Because I need to know. I mean, I’m working things out her. Important

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NSFW: Lucy Kirkwood (UK)

SAM: I can’t think of anything. I’m sorry.

now deal with the idea that she’s gone, that I might not ever wake up

with her again, or go on holiday, because I think, sorry if this is a bit, but I

way she eats is so... and she’s funny and beautiful and. Brave and – like,

we were on the Tube once, it was really crushed and there was this

man, he wasn’t like a tramp, he was in a suit, he had a briefcase, and

she realised this man had taken his, you know – his... penis, out, through

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OSAMA THE HERO: Dennis Kelly (UK)

FRANCIS: I’m gonna tell you a story about my dad. This one time I brought home a

dog, scruffy little mongrel, half staff, my dad never trusted staff, I’m about

eight, never ever trusted staffs, found him up the field, brought him home

and my dad says - that’s a staff: that’s a staff, that’ll turn - but I begged

and begged to keep that dog and he says - alright - because he loved

me, Gary - alright, you can keep that dog but if anything happens - and

he didn’t finish his sentence, just if anything happens and that’s it. Week

later that dog tears into my sister, tears into her, you can still see the scar,

you ask her, in here on her upper arm, you ask her, blood... blood... takes

her up the hospital, carries her up the hospital, and I’m at home, hours

going by, fucking shitting, dog as well, both shitting it. He comes home,

My dad loved me. He loved my sister. D’you understand that? Gary? Do

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GIRLS LIKE THAT: Evan Placey

mother is nervous. They don’t normally take on girls as young as me, but

I want to be a lawyer so my mum has made some calls and got me this

after-school gig a couple hours a week. I am what you call a ‘runner’ at

the law firm. And runner is not a euphemism. From four to six p.m. I run

between floors delivering mail, delivering coffee, delivering

photocopies, delivering staples and paperclips, delivering memos and

faxes from other floors. Lucky for me Olivia has got me in shape, cos

some of the other girls who are a bit – well they just can’t work as fast as

expectations’ as one of them has told me. And were supposed to stick

together. But I can't help doing my job well, can I? I even bought a new

And the girls tell me to stay out of Stanley’s way. Stanley is his first name

and his last name which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Unless the

girls are just saying that to trick me, but I don’t care. And then today I’ve

got these papers I gotta deliver to Mr Stanley’s secretary. Only she’s on

employment law.’

‘See this, right here, would be considered sexual harassment in the

workplace. And you seem not to know that. Either that or you’ve

assumed that because im wearing a pretty skirt that somehow means

that’s an invitation or i’m too young or naïve to know otherwise. Either

way, if you don’t remove your hand from my firmly toned arse right now

I will scream this whole office down, and then I will recruit Pierce or

Richards to sue the pants off you, and then I will call your wife’.

‘I’m glad you like my skirt. I’ll be sure to wear it again.’

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SECRET BRIDESMAIDS’ BUSINESS: Elizabeth Coleman (AUS)

LUCY: If you ask me—and I know you didn’t—weddings are toxic. And I’ll tell

you why. Because they force decent people to lie. I mean, who can

others for the rest of my life?’

like forsaking all others, but let’s consult again further down the track…’

Jesus, if I saw James right now… Why ask Meg to marry him if he can’t

even keep his dick in his pants while they’re engaged…?

life’s lottery. Half their luck. But the rest of us have to keep buying

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at me. You told me that I wasn’t who you expected to come, that the

sometimes, and my father, who jogged here every day. And I didn’t

know that – you told me.

But there was more I wanted to know, and I knew I’d have to talk to you

for that. So I dug the tree up. I did it angrily and loudly and quickly, until I

box.

I found your box, Lucas. And I knew what was in there. It was small and

broke your box open.

And you weren’t in it. I thought I’d find out. I thought it was that literal,

that you’d be in there, making the tree grow – that that was what the

box and it had landed in your tub, so everything else floated in it. And

But you weren’t there, were you? Just a bunch of your things, and that

doesn’t make a person. They weren’t even memories of you, because

you never used them. They were just things. And that’s what the people

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FRATERNAL: Jake Stewart (AUS)

KENT: You know I’m still scared of phone calls. Because of you.

Because remember that day when your mum thought you went missing?

She thought you’d been abducted or something. And it was the same

weekend where we had that huge fight about you wanting me to

come see ‘Wicked’ with you, and you felt like you were always having

And yea, you and me had a big fight on Friday, and then like no one

heard from you all weekend, and you’d just gone to Matt Kelada’s

house but no one knew about it, so on the Sunday morning your mum

you’ve lost him.”

and I can’t explain my feelings to anybody because I feel like they’re

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ANGELS IN AMERICA PART 1: MILLENNIUM APPROACHES: Tony Kushner (US)

HARPER: I feel better, I do, I…feel better. There are ice crystals in my lungs,

wonderful and sharp. And the snow smells like cold, crushed peaches.

And there’s something… some current of blood in the wind, how strange,

it has that iron taste. Where am I? (Looking around, then realising)

Antarctica. This is Antarctica! Oh boy oh boy, LOOK at this, I… Wow, I

must’ve really snapped the tether, huh? I want to stay here forever. Set

up camp. Build things. Build a city, an enormous city made up of frontier

forts, dark wood and green roofs and high gates made of pointed logs

and bonfires burning on every street corner. I should build by a river.

Where are the forests? I’ll plant them and grow them. I’ll live off caribou

fat, I’ll melt it over the bonfires and drink it from long, curved goat-horn

I think I felt her kicking. Maybe I’ll give birth to a baby covered with thick

white fur, and that way she won’t be cold. My breasts will be full of hot

cocoa so she doesn’t get chilly. And if it gets really cold, she’ll have a

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SO WET: Samantha Bews (AUS)

SILV: Work is done, work is out, the stop work bell screamed - it was enough

some hours ago. that’s it, I’ve had enough, today can completely fuck

off. Down pens, down dogs, the hungry pack can find something else to

stare at. out of here, the day is done, goodbye the sun, bring on the night.

me. It’s late. it’s cold. it’s dark. Fuck I love this. This turn of the night into a

pretty picture of shimmering light. like I’m finally awake. The daylight

glare of broad night. this is where my life could be. the only light sparkles

and gleams. Who gets to sit on pretty Tom’s grin. The pretty boy. tall

Up the stairs to the party. You and me and him. Party lights screaming.

people yelling. music blaring. people drinking. occasional eating. Much

flirting. And I love it. The party girl thing. Have a sip of vodka. have a bit

line. having a fine time. I walk around the room. I start to notice.

him and you.

fuck. me.

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EUPHORIA: Emily Steel (AUS/UK)

It’s like being high.

It’s like,

they take drugs to feel like that.

I have to take drugs to stop it.

I have to take a pill,

to make me more like other people,

to make me normal,

because I am not normal.

for a while it’s just like,

feeling better.

Like I’m the best version of me.

and for a while I feel like,

I feel good,

I feel great.

And my mind is going so fast,

and I’m so slow,

and I know it’s what I have to do but it’s so hard,

knowing I can feel like that and knowing I can’t,

and I’m sorry,

I’m so sorry I do this to you,

and I’m not going to leave you on your own,

I’m not.

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BOY SLAUGHTER: Maxine Mellor (AUS)

hand. He notices the audience.

What are you looking at, eh? Just a scratch, that’s all.

He slowly, heavily pulls himself to his feet.

We all need a bit of pain...It builds character. And if that's the case then

I must be Steve Irwin or something, if pains builds character I mean.

Pain builds character…Dad said that. Said a lot of crap.

I remember once, when a new butcher’s shop opened up just down

the road from where we were. Run by some cheery, Christian family.

Dad did all sorts of stuff to ‘em but the icing on the cake was when he

like clay so that they looked like people, and then he carved each

person’s name into them. The message was crystal clear…They soon

closed up their shop and left.

It was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen him make. He

put so much time and effort into it, he even let the turds bake in the sun

so they had the right consistency for carving. He laid them all out on the

back step, lined up like they belonged to some sicko-obsessive

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LOVE: Patricia Cornelius (AUS)

LORENZO: The moment I saw you I thought, you are beautiful, really beautiful, so

beautiful, and small. Beautiful and small. I loved you. I saw you and I

couldn’t keep my hands off you. Wanted to touch you, pick you up, feel

your beautiful little body in my hands. Something about how little you

were, how I could hold you, how I could lift you right off the ground, made

me feel a big man. And a good man, a really good man. I wanted to

look after you. Never wanted that before.

you, looking the way you look, who'd come near you? You’re a slag, an

old rag. Get up. Fucking get up would you, you fucking useless scrag.

Get up!

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THIS UNCHARTED HOUR: Finegan Kruckemeyer (AUS)

with that. I mean, I know it was just a dog and… not a kid or anything,

thank god but, yeah, I don’t know. I’m still quite shaken up.

I wasn’t going too fast or not looking – I was concentrating, I was going

at the speed limit. But, um…it came out too quickly, from nowhere, from

off the footpath, and I didn’t have time to brake, and so I hit it… yeah.

When I hit it, it didn’t go under straight away. It went forward, and it hit

the back of the car in front of me. And then… then I ran over it. That’s

when I ran over it.

I stopped the car. And I went back up the road. I walked up the middle

be in one of them.

carried it in to all these shops. I must have looked like a fucking mess.

People noticed me one at a time. This one woman, she turned around

She gave me the worst look. She really hated me. I thought it was her

dog, but she just walked off. Maybe it was. It could have been. Maybe

she didn’t want to know it anymore. No – maybe she didn’t recognize it.

wasn’t anyone’s dog anymore… because it was dead.

was sleeping. Except it looked dead. It didn’t look asleep.

get coffee.

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GORGON: Elena Carapetis (AUS)

LEE: Bedroom door smashes open, bangs the wall and he stands there,

growling at me to do what he says, take those bloody bins out, do it now.

Rims of his eyes all pink and the rims of his nose all wide. ‘Stop sulking,

don’t look at the floor.’ So I bend my gaze up to meet his twisted face

and my jaw becomes steel. Push it all down into the pit of my guts and

swallow the bitter water forcing up my throat. Meet him full in the face.

My heart drops down to my guts and I sound like something else when I

on the couch with mum, like he used to, he coulda put his arm around

her, like he used to. Offered me a biscuit. The good ones. The ones with

proper chocolate. We coulda been nice to each other for once.

Shoulda told him to get out. Stop speaking to us like that. Not scared of

woulda... And I mighta… I was gonna do it.

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A VIEW OF CONCRETE: Gareth Ellis (AUS)

McDonalds, or KFC, it's a fast food joint, like take-away. Anyway, this

friend, my friend Sharon, or Sharee or something, I don't know her very

well, I know her from clubs. Anyway, moving on. She has this friend with

her. A girl, this beautiful girl. She's from an island or something, in the

Caribbean or America. So we get talking, and she likes to party, and I like

to party, so we decide to party together, that night, Sunday night.

So I call this mate of mine, good mate, drug dealer. So I call him and I

she's like – swish, swish. But the DJ... See the DJ's playing this Trance,

Hard Trance, like Industrial Trance, not Sci Trance, or just Trance, it's too

hard. It's messing up her swish. So we bunt. We get the fuck out of there.

We go to this park. It's not a park, it's an oval, like a football oval. And

she says, they're getting bigger. And they are, bigger and bigger. So we

umbilical kiss. It's like a bird feeding another bird. And she's choking on

this Grolsh, and I think she inhales, 'cos she just goes down. And she's

but I'm off my face, so what can I do? What can I do?

So I take her phone and I dial triple zero. And I put the phone on her

stomach, and I kiss her on the forehead, and I walk away. Into the night.

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JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS: Tom Wells (UK)

like: oh my god I’m actually on a team. With a nickname. That’s like,

appropriate. Cos it’s. Not really had one before, normally just, people in

the past just went for sort of, Bender, whatever. But: a snog! That is, even

better. Honestly. And it’s, yeah.

First one, actually. I know: pathetic, like I’m all, but. I’m from Patrington,

proper rank squelchy teenage stuff. Not - I didn’t watch watch but, they

weren’t sort of, you couldn’t miss it. Always someone getting, getting

pregnant or, you know, stumbling out of a toilet cubicle, jizz dangling off

their eyebrow it’s…

That is a piece of shit. So I never really wanted to go sort of: oh I’m that

too. Thought, best just, hang on a bit. But then you sort of, you’ve hung

on a bit long and now it’s weird, missed the boat, I dunno. Sort of, given

Keeps coming back and. Working and. Cos that’s the thing about

libraries isn’t it? They’re sort of, people forget but, they’re sort of for

time came I’d play it, play it cool but. But I wasn’t expecting, so. Tonight

so. So I suppose I haven’t. In the end.