State Court Administrative Office
Michigan Parenting
Time Guideline
Published: February 2021
Last updated: March 2022
INDEPENDENCE ∙ ACCESSIBILITY ∙ ENGAGEMENT ∙ EFFICIENCY
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Table of Contents
Important Notice to Readers ............................................................................................................................ 1
How Was the Guideline Developed? .............................................................................................................. 1
Advisory Committee Acknowledgement ................................................................................................ 2
Introduction ............................................................................................................................................................ 3
For Parents Using the Guideline ...................................................................................................................... 5
When to Use the Parenting Time Guideline ................................................................................................ 7
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations ...................................................................... 8
Infants: Birth to 12 Months ......................................................................................................................... 8
Toddlers: 12 Months to 3 Years.............................................................................................................. 10
Young Children: 3 to 5 Years ................................................................................................................... 11
Elementary School Age: 5 to 10 Years ................................................................................................. 13
Middle School Age: 10 to 14 Years ........................................................................................................ 14
High School Age: 14 to 18 Years ............................................................................................................. 16
Special Considerations ..................................................................................................................................... 19
Breastfeeding .................................................................................................................................................. 19
Extracurricular Activities ........................................................................................................................... 20
Children with Special Needs ..................................................................................................................... 21
Virtual Parenting Time ................................................................................................................................ 22
Long Distance, Military, and Work Schedules .................................................................................... 23
Multiple Children........................................................................................................................................... 26
Blended and Step Families ........................................................................................................................ 27
Grandparenting Time .................................................................................................................................. 27
Safety Concerns .................................................................................................................................................. 28
Domestic Violence ......................................................................................................................................... 28
Parents Living in a Facility ........................................................................................................................ 33
Supervised and Therapeutic Parenting Time ..................................................................................... 37
Parent-Child Reunification ........................................................................................................................ 41
Guardianships ................................................................................................................................................. 42
Blank Calendar .................................................................................................................................................... 43
Sample Parenting Time Schedules .............................................................................................................. 44
Extended Parenting Time .......................................................................................................................... 45
Traveling During Parenting Time ........................................................................................................... 45
Holidays ............................................................................................................................................................ 45
Sample Schedules: Daytime Only ........................................................................................................... 47
Sample Schedules: Daytime + Non-consecutive Overnights ....................................................... 49
Sample Schedules: Weekdays + Consecutive Overnights ............................................................. 50
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time ..................................................................................... 53
Parenting Time Worksheet for Parents .................................................................................................... 58
Parenting Time Assistance ............................................................................................................................. 60
Coordinating Changes without Court Involvement ......................................................................... 60
Selecting a Private Mediator ..................................................................................................................... 61
Asking for FOC Parenting Time Assistance: File a Complaint ..................................................... 62
1
Important Notice to Readers
The Michigan Parenting Time Guideline (Guideline) is produced by the Michigan Supreme
Court, State Court Administrative Office. It provides information to help parents create a
parenting time schedule in the best interests of their child. Parents might use the Guideline
when trying to establish or modify a parenting time schedule or plan.
This Guideline is not an exhaustive list of all parenting time issues and concerns but it
addresses issues most frequently experienced by parents when discussing parenting time
schedules. Readers should always consider the family’s unique dynamics, concerns, and
issues. Some sections of this Guideline are not appropriate for families in which domestic
violence or child abuse have been perpetrated; see Safety Concerns for more information.
Information and options provided in this Guideline represent the advisory committee
members’ and other experts’ professional judgment and do not constitute
recommendations from the Michigan Supreme Court. Readers of the Guideline are solely
responsible for determining how the information in the Guideline applies to their situation.
This Guideline is a tool and not the law. For legal advice or legal services, consult with a
licensed attorney (https://lrs.michbar.org/LRS-Info/Lawyer-Referral-Service) or find
information from Michigan Legal Help (https://michiganlegalhelp.org/self-help-
tools/family).
How Was the Guideline Developed?
The Michigan Supreme Court, State Court Administrative Office’s Friend of the Court
Bureau (Bureau) is required by law (MCL 552.519) to develop publications to help each
friend of the court office carry out its duties. The previous Michigan Parenting Time
Guideline was published in 2000 to provide the public and professionals - including court
staff who work with parents to develop parenting time schedules - information about
parenting time best practices.
The Bureau partnered with the Michigan State University College of Law’s Chance at
Childhood Clinic to research current best practices in other states and recommend
revisions of the Guideline. Experts on other states’ parenting time guidelines were
consulted for insight on their successes and difficulties. An advisory committee of Michigan
domestic relations experts then reviewed the Guideline.
Some content in this Guideline is based on the Arizona Supreme Court’s parenting time
guideline, Planning for Parenting Time: Arizona’s Guide for Parents Living Apart, with
permission.
2
How Was the Guideline Developed?
Advisory Committee Acknowledgement
This Guideline was developed with the assistance of the 2018-2020 Michigan Parenting
Time Guideline Advisory Committee. Members included:
Ms. Jodie Barrette, Director, Menominee FOC
Ms. Elizabeth Bransdorfer, Attorney, Mika Meyers, PLC,
and Executive Committee member, Family Law Section, State Bar of Michigan
Ms. Zenell Brown, Circuit Court Administrator, Wayne County
Honorable Janice Cunningham, Circuit Court Judge, Eaton County
Ms. Rebecca Decoster, Referee, Oakland County
Mr. Jeremy Hogue, Director, Grand Traverse, Antrim, and Leelanau FOC
Ms. Shelley Kester, Attorney, Wilson & Kester, PLLC, and Executive Committee
member, Family Law Section, State Bar of Michigan
Ms. Tiffany Martinez, Michigan Domestic and Sexual Violence Prevention and
Treatment Board
Honorable Jeffery Matis, Circuit Court Judge, Oakland County
Ms. Mary Kaye Neumann, Custody and Parenting Time Specialist Supervisor,
Oakland FOC
Ms. Danielle Potter, former President, Michigan Association of Court Mediators
Honorable Gerald Prill, Circuit Court Judge, Huron County
Ms. Teresa Remeur, Investigator/Mediator, Cheboygan FOC
Ms. Traci Schenkel, Assistant Director, Kent FOC
Ms. Abbie Schlager, Custody and Parenting Time Investigator/Mediator, Bay FOC
Ms. Melissa Sytsma, Referee, Cass County
Dr. Richard Wooten, Psychologist, Wayne County
Additional insight was also provided by Dr. Carolyn Joy Dayton, Professor of Social Work at
Wayne State University.
3
Introduction
Introduction
Purpose of the Guideline
Parenting time is the term used in Michigan for
the time a child spends with each parent when
parents do not live in the same home.
In Michigan, a child has a right to parenting time
with each parent unless a judge determines that
parenting time would endanger the child’s physical,
mental, or emotional health. Michigan law (MCL
722.27a(1)) recognizes that it is usually in the best
interests of a child to have parenting time in a frequency, duration, and type that promotes
a strong relationship between a child and parent.
Because each family is unique, there is not one
standard schedule that works best for all families.
This Guideline provides many different types of sample schedules to use as a starting place
to create or change the family’s custom schedule. These schedules may not be appropriate
if special circumstances exist, such as domestic violence or child abuse.
Raising a child in separate homes can present unique challenges, such as stepfamily
members and communicating about changes in the child’s life, and it can intensify
differences in parenting and discipline styles. A parenting time schedule helps to provide
the child and parents with predictability and consistency. It can also provide both parents
the opportunity to be actively involved with their child. Healthy child-parent relationships
can further the child’s development, academic success, and overall mental health.
Parenting time usually works best when parents can agree to a schedule that is in the
child’s best interests. Adult children of separated parents often describe the loss of contact
with a parent or the conflict between their parents or other caregivers as the most painful
experience of their childhood. A parenting time plan includes the schedule but also
covers other specifics, such as plans for communicating about schedule changes,
transporting the child’s clothing or toys back and forth, and more. This Guideline should
help parents overcome barriers to establishing or modifying their parenting time plan and
providing for their child’s well-being. Parents are encouraged to review the Guideline and
seek additional information as needed to make the best decisions for their child. Parents
should read Guideline sections relevant to their family before discussing or proposing a
parenting time schedule or comprehensive plan to the other parent or the court.
This Guideline is directed to parents, but may be used by judges, court staff, mediators,
attorneys, and other professionals involved with parenting time disputes. It is meant to be
a resource for both parents and professionals. Judges and other professionals must also
consider certain factors about the best interests of the child. See the Friend of the Court
4
Introduction
Handbook for more information about what professionals must consider when making
parenting time recommendations or decisions.
How is parenting time different from custody?
Custody means both where a child lives and the legal authority to make decisions for a
child. Legal custody is the responsibility of a parent to make significant decisions for the
child, such as medical decisions and where the child attends school. Physical custody can
mean the child’s primary residence, but a child has a residence with each parent, and each
parent exercises custody during the time the child is with that parent unless a court orders
otherwise. The court can order one parent to have sole legal and physical custody, joint
legal and physical custody shared between the parents, or a combination of the two types
of custody.
Parenting time, different from custody, is how a child spends time with each parent. It can
involve a schedule of days and also opportunities for the child to have other contact with a
parent virtually or by phone. A parent who has less parenting time with a child than the
other parent can still be a joint legal or physical custodian. Similarly, some parents might
spend exactly equal amounts of parenting time with a child, but if they cannot cooperate
with each other on decision-making for the child, the court can decide that one parent is
the sole legal custodian.
The purpose of this Guideline is not to help parents determine child custody. This
Guideline provides information to help parents determine the frequency, duration, and
type of parenting time.
For more information about child custody, please refer to the Michigan Custody Guideline.
Before creating a parenting time schedule
Review the Important Notice to Readers and the Purpose of the Guideline.
Review Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations, including
development and emotional concerns, communication, and scheduling
considerations.
Read about Safety Concerns that could apply to you or your child when exercising
parenting time.
Look over the Special Considerations and read any sections that apply to your
family’s unique circumstances. Some examples of unique circumstances are: long
distance parenting time, breastfeeding, and children’s special medical or educational
needs.
5
For Parents Using the Guideline
For Parents Using the Guideline
Parents Should
Be respectful to the other parent.
Focus on the needs of the child.
Encourage a relationship between the
child and the other parent.
Encourage regular contact between the
child and the other parent by voice or
video calls, text messaging, or e-mail.
Keep a consistent parenting time
schedule.
Have the child ready for parenting time
pick up and drop off.
Allow the child to bring important items
for parenting time (e.g., clothes,
blankets, toys, sports equipment).
Make sure important items are returned
with the child after parenting time.
Develop Co-Parenting consistency for
the child’s meals, homework, bedtime,
and discipline.
Encourage relationships between the
child the other parent’s family (for
example, stepparents, stepsiblings,
grandparents, aunts, and uncles).
Encourage the child to participate in the
other parent’s family celebrations.
Ask the other parent as soon as possible
to have the child for special occasions
that may interfere with the other
parent’s regular parenting time.
Try to schedule vacations during your
regular parenting time.
Inform the other parent of vacation
travel dates, locations, and return times.
Consider the child’s activities, such as
sporting events, when planning
vacations or other extended parenting
time.
Make sure the child is in a safe
environment.
Parents Should Not
Argue with the other parent when the
child is present or nearby.
Make negative statements about the
other parent or the other parent’s
family.
Ask the child about the other parent’s
life.
Make promises they cannot keep.
Pass messages to each other through the
child.
Attempt to destroy the other parent’s
relationship with the child.
Consume excessive amounts of alcohol
or other mind-altering substances
before or during parenting time.
Exercise parenting time inconsistently.
Often show up late for parenting time.
Drop off the child earlier or later
without making arrangements with the
other parent.
6
Effective Communication
Between Parents
Positive communication between parents is vital for the young child’s
healthy emotional development and the relationship the child has with both
parents. When communicating with each other, parents should focus on the
child’s needs, and not how they feel about each other. It is important for
parents to avoid allowing their personal and emotional feelings towards the
other parent to destroy the co-parenting relationship.
Co-Parenting
For most families, information sharing between parents is necessary and
beneficial for the child. It is important that parents share information about
the child’s routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, and any
behavioral changes. Parenting styles may differ, but it is important for
parents to have a basic set of co-parenting skills. Parents may wish to seek parenting
classes, co-parenting counseling, or workshops in their area for help creating healthy
environments for their children. Local FOC offices may be able to provide information
about free or low-cost web-based tools for co-parent communication.
Between the Child and Parent
Parents should strive to develop healthy communication between
themselves and their child. This might include talking with the child about
school activities, friends, sports, and health. Parents should keep
communication with the child open so the child feels comfortable
approaching either parent with any concerns. If appropriate, parents should
also encourage open communication between the child and the other parent through
phone calls and/or video chats. If appropriate, both parents should encourage a
relationship between the child and the other parent, and avoid speaking negatively about
the other parent and the other parent’s family or partner.
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When to Use the Parenting Time Guideline
When to Use the Parenting Time Guideline
Making or changing a parenting time schedule
with the other parent.
Parents can work together to create or change their parenting
time schedule. Using the Guideline can help parents identify
times they agree to and help resolve disputes when they do
not agree.
Parents can also seek alternative dispute resolution (ADR)
services or file a motion directly with the court to create or
change their parenting time schedule. ADR is a process to try
to settle disputes without going in front of a judge for a
decision.
The judge must sign a parenting time order before the court or friend of the court can
enforce it. Learn more in the Parenting Time Assistance section.
Before or during an alternative dispute resolution process.
Friend of the court (FOC) offices provide ADR services to help
parents resolve custody, parenting time, and child support
disputes. Often judges require parents who are separated to
meet with a mediator or other ADR provider to resolve their
disputes. Parents may also seek ADR services from the
Community Dispute Resolution Program or by Selecting a
Private Mediator.
Before or during a custody or parenting time
investigation.
A judge can order the FOC to conduct a custody and/or
parenting time investigation (sometimes referred to as an
evaluation) and complete a recommendation based on the
best interests of the child. MCL 722.23.
Before or during a parenting time enforcement
procedure.
The FOC must enforce court-ordered custody and parenting
time on FOC cases when the office receives a valid written
complaint. Offices may respond with a parenting time
enforcement procedure. Learn more by reading about
Parenting Time Assistance.
What is friend of the
court (FOC)?
Every circuit court has an
FOC office that helps the
court act in the best interests
of children and make sure
parents follow the court’s
orders.
In parenting time issues, FOC
staff might:
• Interview parents and
make a written
recommendation to help
the court decide the
outcome;
• Help parents reach an
agreement about
parenting time;
• Follow up on written
complaints about a
parent not following the
parenting time court
order.
What is a motion?
A formal written request
asking a court to take action.
A motion is sometimes called
a petition. Michigan Court
Rules include detailed
requirements for filing a
motion. If you are filing a
motion, consult an attorney
or find information at
www.michiganlegalhelp.org.
8
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Child development generally means the changes in a child’s body and mind from birth to
adulthood. Parenting time schedules can affect a child’s healthy development. This section
provides information about stages of
development and the connection to
parenting time schedules.
The developmental stages provided here
are generalized and common to many
children. However, every child is unique
and may not exactly fit these patterns.
After reading this section, parents should
carefully review the list of Special
Considerations before planning a
parenting time schedule.
Infants: Birth to 12 Months
Development and Emotional Concerns
Infants learn about their world by spending
time with parents and other caregivers.
Beginning in early infancy, reading, talking,
and singing to children will help them learn
to talk and help their brains develop in
healthy ways.
Infants are learning to:
• Recognize and trust their caregivers.
• Sit up, roll over, crawl, and walk.
• Mimic sound.
Infants have much shorter memory spans than adults. At three months old, an infant can
remember and recognize people, places, and things for no more than several days. Seeing
each parent and any other caregivers frequently will help the infant remember and form
bonds with them. Infants need repetition, regularity, and routines to help them feel safe.
At around eight months, infants may become upset when approached by a stranger or
when their caregiver leaves. This is normal at this stage of development and may intensify
before slowly improving – some time in toddlerhood for most children. Routines and
familiar items can help infants cope with separations. As the child later develops language
and social skills to cope with change, the child will learn that separation is not permanent
and feel more secure.
By about nine months old, an infant’s memory span is typically up to one week.
9
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Infants are affected by the tone of their caregivers’ voices, facial expressions, and body
language. It is important for caregivers to learn how to read the infant’s cues and respond
in caring ways.
Communication
Positive communication between parents is vital for the young child’s healthy emotional
development and should focus on providing good care. Both parents should encourage a
healthy relationship between the child and the other parent. It is important that parents
share information about routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, and
behavioral changes. One way to do this effectively may be to pass a notebook back and
forth at parenting time exchanges or to use a web-based tool for co-parent communication.
Local FOC offices may be able to provide information about free or low-cost co-parent
communication options.
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
The bond between both parents and the infant is vital to the child’s development. Because
infants have short memory spans, parents should consider a schedule that allows the infant
frequent contact with both parents. In a situation where a parent is unfamiliar or
uncomfortable with providing basic care for the infant, frequent parenting time of several
hours a couple days each week may be more appropriate at first. All parenting time should
be consistent and minimally disruptive to the infant’s schedule.
Schedule Components
These suggestions are for families without any Safety Concerns.
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Contact with each parent at least every few days, while also providing “breaks” for
the parents.
• Consistency and predictability.
• Consideration of the child’s developmental needs. For example, shorter, more
frequent blocks of parenting time may work best with infants on a Breastfeeding
schedule. Parents can make arrangements to exchange breast milk.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care, either together
or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents.
• When a parent has not consistently cared for the child or is not comfortable caring
for the child, consideration of a “graduated schedule,” with limited parenting time at
first and increasing the frequency and duration of parenting time when parenting
milestones are achieved.
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time.
• The opportunity for both parents to participate in the child’s events, such as
birthdays, religious events, and doctors’ appointments.
• As the child becomes older, an extended parenting time schedule that may include
longer periods, such as multiple overnights in a row.
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
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Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Toddlers: 12 Months to 3 Years
Development and Emotional Concerns
Parents are a toddler’s primary teachers. By
spending time with parents, toddlers learn
skills that promote independence.
Toddlers are learning to:
• Sing simple songs, recite rhymes, and
tell stories.
• Identify objects.
• Climb stairs, run, kick balls, and ride a
push bike or tricycle.
• Use pretend play to process their
environment and explore different
roles.
Toddlers have strong emotions they do not yet understand and may easily become
frustrated between wanting independence and having a desire to cling to a parent.
Toddlers may fear unfamiliar activities and objects. Frustrated toddlers may cry, throw
things, or display other temper tantrum behavior. Parents should reassure toddlers they
are loved and help them learn appropriate ways to express emotion. A predictable routine
can help a toddler cope with fears, while learning that the world is a safe place.
Communication
Positive communication between parents is vital for the toddler’s healthy emotional
development and should focus on providing good care. Both parents should encourage a
healthy relationship between the toddler and the other parent. It is important that parents
share information about routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, and
behavioral changes. One way to do this effectively may be to pass a notebook back and
forth at parenting time exchanges or to use a web-based tool for co-parent communication.
Local FOC offices may be able to provide information about free or low-cost co-parent
communication options.
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
Frequent contact with both parents is important in promoting the parent-child bond
necessary for the toddler’s emotional health and development. Overnights allow both
parents to share in providing basic care. Parents may consider limiting overnight
parenting time to two consecutive nights to minimize the time away from the other parent.
Toddlers will benefit from a parenting time schedule that is consistent and minimally
disruptive to their schedule.
Schedule Components
These suggestions are for families without any Safety Concerns.
11
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Contact with each parent at least every few days, while also providing “breaks” for
the parents.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care and guidance,
either together or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents of at
least two overnights within a two-week period to allow each parent to provide basic
care.
• Consistency and predictability.
• As the child becomes older, an extended parenting time schedule that may include
longer periods, such as multiple overnights in a row.
• The opportunity for both parents to participate in the child’s events, such as
birthdays, preschool events, religious events, and doctors’ appointments.
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time. For
concerns about distance between the parents’ homes, please see Long Distance
Parenting Time.
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
Young Children: 3 to 5 Years
Development and Emotional Concerns
Although the young child may be enrolled in
preschool, parents remain the child’s primary
teachers. Independence skills are increasing,
and the young child’s social skills are
developing.
Young children are learning to:
• Ask questions and sing songs.
• Use pretend play to process their world
and try out new roles.
• Feed themselves, use the toilet, wash,
and dress.
• Interact with other children.
Young children are trying hard to understand the world of people and objects around them
and how they fit into it. They are eager learners who understand more and more complex
ideas. They are curious about everything, which leads to a lot of ‘why’ questions.
Answering their questions can sometimes take patience, but doing so is important for
encouraging them as learners. If you do not know the answer, it is best to be honest. At
times, asking them ‘What do you think?’ in response to a question can help develop their
problem-solving skills.
Young children may imagine parents together or may blame themselves for the divorce or
separation. If a young child complains of missing a parent, simple, clear explanations about
12
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
where the other parent is may be helpful. Both parents should provide the young child
with reassurance, love, and permission to love both parents. Young children exposed to
parental conflict may experience sadness, insecurity, and low self-esteem, and may regress
to previous developmental levels by wetting the bed, engaging in baby talk, and exhibiting
clinging behavior.
Fears of unfamiliar activities and objects are common, as well as night fears, such as
“monsters” under the bed. A young child struggling with transition times may benefit from
parents following predictable schedules and by allowing the young child to take a favorite
animal or other familiar object.
Communication
Positive communication between parents is vital for the young child’s healthy emotional
development, and it should focus on providing good care. Parents should share
information about routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, behavioral
changes, and school functions. One way to do this effectively may be to pass a notebook
back and forth at parenting time exchanges or to use a web-based tool for co-parent
communication. Local FOC offices may be able to provide information about free or low-
cost co-parent communication options.
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
The young child has developed the ability to remember a parent during short periods of
separation (for example, in two- to three-day increments). If appropriate for the child,
consecutive days with overnight parenting time may be included. Parenting time should be
consistent and minimally disruptive to the young child’s daily schedule.
Schedule Components
The suggestions below are for families without any Safety Concerns.
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Visits that are consistent and predictable during the week so the child has contact
with both parents.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care and guidance,
either together or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents.
• If multiple overnights in a row is not appropriate for the child, one overnight at a
time and a later transition to multiple overnights.
• The opportunity for both parents to participate in the child’s events, such as
birthdays, school events, religious events, and doctors’ appointments.
• Extended parenting time (for example, for up to one week).
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time.
Parenting time may revolve around weekends or longer three night periods. For
concerns about distance between the parents’ homes, please see Long Distance
Parenting Time.
• Regular periods of phone time or video chatting between visits.
13
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
Elementary School Age: 5 to 10 Years
Development and Emotional Concerns
At this age, children are developing relationships
outside of their family with friends and classmates.
They are learning about appropriate behavior, how
to care about other people, and to negotiate their
wants and needs with the wants and needs of
others. As a result of the learning process, children
of this age are developing self-esteem.
By 5-6 years old, most children have good basic
language skills and are starting to think in more
complex ways. They will begin to understand the
meaning behind parents’ conversations, even if the
tone of the conversation is not revealing. Parents should be aware of the child’s quickly
growing vocabulary and have private conversations away from the child.
With parents in different homes, some children of this age may deal with sadness, anger,
and anxiety related to parents no longer being together or blame themselves for parents
not being together. Fear of losing one or both parents may lead to feelings of anxiety.
When parents fight, children may perform poorly at school, experience long-term
depression, become preoccupied with the fact their parents are not together, or dream
about their parents reuniting. It is also common for children of this age to think that they
must find ways to bring their parents back together.
Communication
Positive communication between parents is vital for the elementary school child’s healthy
emotional development, and it should focus on providing good care. Parents should share
information about routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, behavioral
changes, and school functions.
In elementary school, the child will begin having homework to complete, and there will be
other activities important to the child, such as extracurricular activities. Parents’
communication should be about the child’s activities, working together, and coordinating
the child’s appointments and commitments.
Parents should make sincere efforts to keep their communication child-focused and avoid
involving the child in their conversations or disputes, or using the child as a means of
communication. One way to do this effectively may be to pass a notebook back and forth at
parenting time exchanges or to use a web-based tool for co-parent communication. Local
FOC offices may be able to provide information about free or low-cost co-parent
communication options.
14
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
Children of this age differ in how long they are comfortable being away from each parent.
Multiple consecutive overnights are usually okay. Some children may be comfortable being
away from a parent they spend more time with, while others may not. A consistent routine
is important. It is generally best to avoid the confusion of many transitions in one week.
More mature children may prefer longer parenting time.
The parenting time schedule should provide the child with opportunities to maintain
contact with friends and participate in after-school activities. Young school-aged children
have more experience and comfort with separations from parents than younger
developmental stages, but have not yet settled into friendship groups or activities that tie
them to one residence. Parents need to have more flexibility as the child develops his or
her own identity through friends and interests.
During parenting time exchanges, the child’s personal belongings should travel with the
child. This could include winter clothing, backpack, school work, sports equipment, and
prescribed medications, for example. Following these suggestions will ease the transition
from household to household.
Schedule Components
The suggestions below are for families without any Safety Concerns.
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Limited transitions each week.
• Contact with the child’s friends.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care and guidance,
either together or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents.
• Holidays and school vacation periods that are alternated or split.
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time.
Parenting time may revolve around weekends and school vacations. For concerns
about distance between the parents’ homes, please see Long Distance Parenting
Time.
• Regular periods of phone time or video chatting between visits.
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
Middle School Age: 10 to 14 Years
Development and Emotional Concerns
Middle school age children are continuing to develop academic and life skills, an increased
sense of their abilities, relationships with other children, and their relationship to the
world beyond their family. They want to be more like an adult, talk about adult issues, and
think for themselves. They are also experiencing changes in their bodies as they go
through puberty.
15
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Children this age may struggle as these changes affect
their mood and behavior, as well as other factors like
learning about socially acceptable and unacceptable
behavior. They might feel confused because their
opinions are important to them, and they want others to
respect them, but they still lack the foresight of an adult
when it comes to decision making. Many children this
age still use “black and white” thinking, often
interpreting the world around them in extremes of right
or wrong, good or bad, and mine or theirs, which can
limit their ability to see things from someone else’s
perspective.
Middle school children often ask for more privacy, which
can be difficult for parents. They often push boundaries
with parents as they strive to be more independent, which can become even more
complicated when parents are in different homes.
As middle school children continue to develop a growing understanding of the world
around them, they may feel protective of one or both parents, feel intense blame towards
one or both parents, want adult problems explained to them, or want to fix adult problems.
They may also intensely express emotions and feel shame about the breakup of their
parents. When they are aware of conflict between parents, they may perform poorly at
school, be dishonest, side with one parent against the other, and experience loneliness,
depression, or low self-esteem.
Communication
Positive communication between parents is vital for the child’s healthy emotional
development, and it should focus on providing good care. Parents should continue to share
information about routines, food preferences, medical care instructions, behavioral
changes, and school functions. One way to do this effectively may be to pass a notebook
back and forth at parenting time exchanges or to use a web-based tool for co-parent
communication. Local FOC offices may be able to provide information about free or low-
cost co-parent communication options. Beginning at this developmental stage, parents
may need to communicate more frequently to send a consistent message to their child
about expectations and discipline.
Children this age may be starting to consider mature topics, such as sex, substance or
alcohol use, and peer pressure issues. Parents should try to coordinate with each other and
use positive tones to have these complicated conversations with the child.
When parents communicate with each other, they should focus on the needs of the child
and not involve the child directly in the communications.
Particularly at the middle school developmental stage, both parents should encourage a
healthy relationship with the other parent. Children at this age are especially vulnerable to
long-term psychological and emotional harm from poor relationships with parents.
16
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
At this age, children need more flexibility to meet their extra-curricular activities,
increasing social lives, and time with each parent. It can be challenging to balance the
child’s time. This balance requires some flexibility from parents and a commitment to
maintaining a strong relationship for the child with the other parent. Children this age
continue to need consistency and to have open lines of communication with each parent. A
consistent parenting time schedule should minimize interference with peer relationships,
school, and after-school activities. Parents should consider the child’s feelings about the
schedule and validate the child’s concerns, but make it clear the parents make the final
decisions.
Schedule Components
The suggestions below are for families without any Safety Concerns.
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Flexibility in the parenting time schedule to accommodate the child’s friendships
and extracurricular activities.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care and guidance,
either together or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents.
• Holidays and school vacation periods that are alternated or split.
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time.
Parenting time may revolve around weekends and school vacations. For concerns
about distance between the parents’ homes, please see Long Distance Parenting
Time.
• Regular periods of phone time or video chatting between visits.
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
High School Age: 14 to 18 Years
Development and Emotional Concerns
Teenagers are becoming more independent
in their activities, emotions, and the way
they think about themselves and others.
Teenagers are continuing to change and
mature. Although teenagers may start to
look like adults, most people do not reach
emotional and intellectual maturity until
their mid-20s. The last areas of the brain to
fully develop maintain impulse control and
allow complex decision making. This means that teenage children might be able to identify
advantages and disadvantages of the decisions they make in “the big picture” context, but
they do not always correctly consider these consequences.
17
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
This affects their ability to make decisions about risky behaviors like intimacy, substance
use, and alcohol. Teenagers often prefer to spend more time with friends than with
parents. However, consistent parental contact remains important for teenagers because
they need guidance, support, examples of mature adult behavior, and positive feedback
from both parents. Because decision-making abilities vary widely among teenagers and
from one situation to another, boundaries need to remain firm, and consequences for
violating the boundaries need to be consistent.
As teenagers mature, they become more aware of any conflict between parents and may
struggle with emotional reactions to it. Teenagers may react to parental conflict by
doubting their own capacity to have successful relationships, placing too much importance
on their friendships or withdrawing completely from friendships. Teenagers may be
exposed to negative influences, including drugs, alcohol, sex, and unhealthy peer groups.
When family ties are strained, teenagers are increasingly likely to adopt such unhealthy
habits either to act out or to achieve a sense of belonging within a peer group.
Each parent should make an effort to be involved in the teenager’s school and activities so
that the parent can understand and support what is important in the child’s life. Healthy
communication between parents remains important for teenage children. Parents should
keep each other informed about changes in the teenager’s behavior.
Communication
When planning parenting time, it is important for parents to strongly consider and value
the child’s planned activities. This may require more frequent communication between
parents and flexibility with scheduled parenting time. Parents should communicate with
each other about the teenager’s requested changes to the parenting time schedule, but the
parents should still make the final decision about changes. A child – even a child who is
almost legally an adult – should never feel the burden of choosing between parents.
Older teenagers (ages 16-18) are acting more independently, but still need guidance and
supervision. Parents should communicate with each other about any changes in the
teenager’s schedule to make sure the teen is accounted for and safe. One way to do this
effectively may be to pass a notebook back and forth at parenting time exchanges or to use
a web-based tool for co-parent communication. Local FOC offices may be able to provide
information about free or low-cost co-parent communication options.
Parenting Time Scheduling Considerations
When planning parenting time, parents of teenagers should think about the teenager’s
schedule and commitments, distance between the parents’ homes, each parent’s work
schedule or other obligations, the child’s temperament and wishes, and a teenager’s need
for unstructured time. With a teenager’s increasing activities outside the home, parenting
time may include or shift to attendance at the child’s activities and/or transporting the teen
to such activities.
In general, teenagers can maintain a strong relationship with each parent through less
frequent contact than younger children.
18
Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
It is common for parents to spend less time
with their child at this age because activities
and friends take up more of the teenager’s
time. Parents should be mindful that
increased flexibility may be necessary due to
these activities and friendships. Parents should
recognize that the teenager’s interests might
affect how much time the teenager spends at
each home, but not a preference for one parent
over the other.
Some families that live very close together and communicate well might find that having a
less structured schedule allows the teenager the right amount of flexibility to support his or
her life. However, in these situations it is critical for parents to communicate about the
teenager’s whereabouts and wellbeing. Not having a structured schedule should not
undermine the parent-child relationship.
Parents of teenagers between the ages of 16-18 should be aware that increased flexibility
may be necessary as the teenager may have his or her own transportation and
commitments (for example, sports, employment, and friends). As older teenagers gain
mobility with a driver’s license, some might resist a structured parenting time schedule.
This is a normal part of development, but parents should encourage teenagers to follow the
parenting time schedule and be careful not to put the teenager in a position of choosing
whether to spend time with a parent.
Schedule Components
The suggestions below are for families without any Safety Concerns.
A child’s schedule should provide:
• Flexibility to accommodate academic, social, extracurricular activities, and jobs.
• When both parents previously provided the child’s day-to-day care and guidance,
either together or on their own, overnight parenting time with both parents.
• Holidays and school vacation periods that are alternated or split.
• If parents live far apart, parenting time as frequently as possible considering the
distance between the homes. Parents may need to travel for parenting time.
Parenting time may revolve around weekends and school vacations. For concerns
about distance between the parents’ homes, please see Long Distance Parenting
Time.
• Regular periods of phone time or video chatting between visits.
Create your own schedule using the Blank Calendar.
19
Special Considerations
Special Considerations
Every family and every child is unique. Many families establish or change their parenting
time schedule because something about their family dynamics has changed. When
planning a parenting time schedule, parents should always consider the child’s
developmental stage (see Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations), as
well as:
The routines and schedule of the child and parents (including Breastfeeding or
Extracurricular Activities);
Any health issues relating to the child or parents (see Children with Special
Needs);
Each parent’s ability and willingness to provide care;
The child’s relationship with each parent;
The distance between parental homes (see Long Distance Parenting, Virtual
Contact);
Whether the child’s siblings will participate in the child’s parenting time (see
Children of Different Ages);
The child’s relationship with grandparents and other extended family members (see
Grandparenting Time);
The child’s relationship with any other blended or step-family members (see
Blended and Step Families);
Transportation and other costs related to parenting time.
This section provides guidance about many special considerations. Some of the
considerations will not apply to every family, and some families may have other unique
circumstances to consider that are not mentioned in this Guideline.
Breastfeeding
It can be difficult to accommodate an infant’s breastfeeding schedule while balancing time
and bonding with the other parent. Ideally, during the first weeks and months of a child’s
life, parents should establish good communication and a willingness to be flexible and
schedule parenting time around the feeding schedule.
Breastfeeding or whether a mother is pumping breastmilk should be a consideration when
developing a parenting time schedule. There may be bonding and health benefits for both
the infant and the nursing mother. However, it is also important that both parents develop
a healthy bond and attachment with the infant when both are willing and able to provide
hands-on care.
Parents should discuss the feeding schedule, share information and resources, and try to
reach an agreement.
See the Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations section for more
information about infants’ and toddlers’ parenting time needs.
20
Special Considerations
Extracurricular Activities
Participating in extracurricular activities can have
physical, emotional, psychological, academic, and
social benefits for children. These activities could be
sports, clubs, community and religious groups, and
volunteering, to name a few. Through these
activities, children usually improve in general
health; emotional regulation; study skills; self-
esteem; and developing respect for social values,
customs, and individual differences.
Parents are individually responsible for getting
information about events and activities in their
child’s life, like school programs, concerts, award
ceremonies, plays, and sports events. Parents are also responsible for getting their child’s
report cards, school calendars, school pictures, and copies of awards or programs. If one of
the parents is unable to access these materials despite reasonable efforts, parents should
work together to share and exchange information.
Parents should provide each other as much notice as possible when changes to the child’s
schedule occur. Parents may need to be more flexible with their parenting time so the child
may fully participate in extracurricular activities. Parents should communicate and
attempt to reach an agreement about enrolling the child in extracurricular activities.
Some extracurricular activities have associated
costs. Parents may reach an agreement about
payment for fees, equipment, and any other costs.
These expenses are not considered child support.
Parents also need to plan for buying equipment
and exchanging it for parenting time.
The parent exercising parenting time should
generally be responsible for transporting the
child to any extracurricular activities.
Parents should not interfere with the other parent’s opportunity to volunteer for or
participate in the child’s activities, unless otherwise prohibited by court order. Parents
also should not deliberately plan the child’s extracurricular activities to disrupt the other
parent’s parenting time.
21
Special Considerations
Children with Special Needs
A child’s special needs encompass physical, mental, and
emotional health. When planning a parenting time schedule,
parents must consider how to ensure that the child’s needs are
met during time spent with each parent. This might include
discussions about medication, insurance, and healthcare
providers; any necessary equipment or treatment; and
creating a plan for addressing the child’s special needs that
arise during parenting time. Parents should strive to provide
the child consistent care by using the same doctors and
specialists.
Your court order may specify who has decision-making responsibility for the child –
usually this is the parent(s) with legal custody of the child. No matter who has legal
custody, both parents have the right to access the child’s medical information unless a
court orders otherwise.
Parents should have an understanding with each other about scheduling appointments for
the child and keep each other informed. Unless agreed upon or specified in the court order,
parents should avoid scheduling the child’s appointments during the other parent’s
parenting time.
Arranging Parenting Time to Meet Special
Needs
Parents of children with medical or other
special needs may want to consult the child’s
doctor(s) for advice on parenting time best
practices for that child. For many children
with significant medical or other special
needs, routine can be very important. Parents should develop the least disruptive
parenting time schedule for the child.
Parents of children with significant medical or other special needs should consider:
1. Your child transitioning between homes, including:
a. What is your child’s ability?
b. How will your child be able to contact the other parent?
c. Are both homes equipped for your child’s medical needs (i.e., medication,
wheelchair ramps, protection from environmental hazards)?
2. Minimizing the impact of parenting time transitions. Parents may wish to
consult with a doctor or other professional for possible strategies. For example,
some children with cognitive disorders cope better with transitions when they can
follow a visual schedule.
22
Special Considerations
Parents can also decrease the number of transitions between homes. Some
examples include:
a. Parents rotate in and out of one home instead of the child rotating to
different homes. This is sometimes called “nesting.”
b. Parents live near each other to minimize transition time between homes.
c. Parents exercise extended periods of parenting
time to minimize the number of transitions for
the child.
3. Adding a provision in your court order addressing
the specific medical care needs of your child.
If you cannot reach an agreement with the other
parent about medical care of your child during
parenting time, you may file a motion asking the court
to decide if parenting time should change to ensure
your child receives proper medical care.
4. Updating the parenting time schedule according to
your child’s needs.
If your child’s medical needs change significantly, it
might be appropriate to update the parenting time
schedule to accommodate the changes.
Special Educational Needs
Children with special educational needs should be included in school and
community activities as much as possible. To achieve maximum inclusion,
parents should discuss with educational professionals, as appropriate:
• A child with special needs may have an individualized education program (IEP),
behavior intervention plan (BIP), 504 plan, or other plan developed by the school.
Parents should share information about these or other educational plans and
coordinate their efforts to help the child succeed.
• Parents should plan parenting time to include a child’s needs for after-school
assistance or care, year-round schooling, tutoring, or other educational supports.
For additional resources on special education, visit Michigan.gov/SpecialEducation.
Virtual Parenting Time
Modern technology offers opportunities beyond in-person parenting
time for parents to connect with their children. Parents may want to
include in their parenting time plan virtual parenting time between in-
person parenting time.
Video conferencing can be helpful for a long distance parent to see the
child’s development and growth. Additionally, learning and playing can
be shared through video conferencing. A parent and child can do virtual arts and crafts
Sharing the cost of
medical care
Sometimes parents may have
out-of-pocket costs of
medical care for the child
during parenting time.
There is an FOC process to
help parents with uninsured
healthcare expense
reimbursement if parents
are unable to work it out on
their own.
Contact your FOC office for
information on this process.
23
Special Considerations
projects, draw and color, read books, play games, and even bake. For many activities, it
helps if both parent and child have the supplies for the activity so they can do it together
and compare progress.
In addition to video conferencing, e-mail, instant messaging, and texting provide
opportunities for children and parents to stay connected.
Infants and Toddlers. Parents should exchange an estimated schedule of the
child’s daily meal and nap times. Virtual parenting time should be scheduled so that
it does not interrupt this schedule, and it should be kept short but flexible.
School-Aged Children. Virtual parenting
time should be scheduled around the
child’s routine, including any activities.
Parents should establish standard,
consistent times during the day for virtual
parenting time. For younger children, the
parent physically present should
encourage the child to engage. Children
may need supervision of safe Internet
activity, but the actual virtual parenting
time should happen without monitoring or supervision unless it is determined
necessary by the court or a professional working with the family.
Parents should not use virtual parenting time to ask questions about the other parent or to
communicate parenting issues. The focus should be on the child.
Long Distance, Military, and Work Schedules
Some life circumstances make it difficult for both parents to exercise parenting time. For
example, a parent may live far away from the child, be deployed with the military, or have
nontraditional work hours. Parents and children can still maintain a healthy relationship
when these challenges exist. If possible, parents should strive for as frequent contact with
the child as appropriate for the situation. The distance between homes, ease of
transportation, cost of transportation, and availability of childcare are all important factors
to consider when determining a parenting time schedule.
Long Distance Parenting Time
Longer periods of parenting time may be considered when parents live far
apart. The right schedule for any family will depend on the distance between
the parents’ homes and the ability of the child to travel that distance.
24
Special Considerations
Some schedules that might be appropriate include:
• Every other weekend.
• A three-day weekend each month. If a three-
day weekend does not occur during the month,
then a two-day weekend.
• Extended time during school breaks of more
than two consecutive days. School breaks might
include spring break, summer break,
Thanksgiving weekend, winter break, and mid-
winter break.
• The parent travels to the child for parenting
time. The parent should take advantage of
opportunities to meet the child’s friends,
teachers, coaches, and others important in the
child’s life.
• A combination of these or other options.
When exercising parenting time, parents should support the child in pursuing interests,
reconnecting with and making new friends, and contacting the other parent.
Traveling long distances for parenting time can be a burden
to a child. Both parents are responsible for their respective
share of providing food, water, and other necessary
supplies for the child during travel.
Transportation costs for parenting time can be shared
equally by the parents or specified in the court order.
Options for sharing costs include, but are not limited to:
• Each parent is responsible for picking up the child
from the other parent’s home.
• Parents meet at an agreeable midway point.
• The parent receiving the child will provide for one-
way airfare.
• The cost for round-trip airfare will be split equally.
Air Travel
Flying may be a transportation option when parents live a great distance
apart. If the child is comfortable and mature enough, the child may fly alone.
When a child flies without the presence of an accompanying adult, he or she
is referred to as an “unaccompanied minor” and requires special supervision.
Each airline has its own rules for unaccompanied minors, including age
requirements, extra cost, flight limitations, and amenities included. When
making arrangements for a minor child’s air travel:
• Nonstop flights are best.
Costs
Some parents make an
agreement about who pays for
transportation or how to split
the costs. For example, 50/50,
60/40, or 70/30. Some parents
use the uninsured medical
expense percentage split from
their child support order.
Parents who cannot agree
about transportation costs can
ADR
Motion
25
Special Considerations
• Verify the unaccompanied minor policy for the airline you choose – each airline may
be different.
• Designate who is responsible for purchasing and acquiring airline tickets and paying
special fees that may be added for an unaccompanied minor (this may be designated
by court order).
• If planning travel out of the country, check for U.S. Department of State travel
advisories.
• Determine which airports the child will fly to and from;
• Check for any flight delays or changes.
• Communicate with the other parent when the child boards the plane and is picked
up from the airport.
Parents Moving
Parents moving within Michigan. Parents may live far apart when their
court case starts, or, as life changes, they may need to move further apart. In
Michigan, if parents cannot reach an agreement, a judge must approve any
move that results in parents’ homes being more than 100 miles apart. There
are a few exceptions to this requirement (see MCL 722.31). To ask for a
judge’s permission, a parent must file a motion. Sometimes the court will order the parent
who is moving to pay for future parenting time transportation costs.
Parents moving out of the state of Michigan. A parent who has custody of
a child must also receive a judge’s permission to move from the state of
Michigan with the child (called a Change of Domicile). If the judge grants
the move and the other parent had a parenting time court order, the judge
may also change the order so the child and the parent can maintain their relationship.
When a parent cannot be physically present for parenting time, forms of virtual contact can
help maintain a parent-child relationship. Also, many children like to receive mail, which
allows parents to send something tangible for the child to have and keep. Parents can
encourage a continued bond between the child and the other parent by allowing the child
to keep a reminder such as a picture of the other parent.
Military
Families face unique challenges when one or both parents serve in the
military. Many military personnel have to move frequently. Because of this,
families with a military parent may want to develop a parenting time
schedule that offers flexibility, which may include long-distance parenting
time if parents are no longer living in the same area. See considerations for
26
Special Considerations
Long Distance Parenting Time.
Families can also plan for a parent’s temporary deployment with options including
extended parenting time when the military parent is home and maintaining Virtual
Contact during the parent’s deployment. In the event of a deployment, parents may want
to consider modifying their court order with the help of an attorney or by filing a motion.
Work Schedules
Some parents may work during the night, weekends, a variable schedule, long
days for a few days per week, etc. Parents should create a parenting time
schedule that considers both parents’ work schedules and their availability to
be with the child. Sometimes the parenting time schedule may allow more
flexibility and variability because of a parent’s work schedule. In these cases, parents may
have less specific parenting time schedules, but more general provisions. For example, the
schedule may state: “The mother must provide 24 hour notice to the father for requested
parenting time.”
Parents are responsible for arranging their own childcare during their parenting time. For
example, some parents are able to make arrangements with the other parent to provide
child care, and some parents rely on a daycare center, babysitter, or other caregiver.
Multiple Children
Siblings should be able to develop and maintain bonds with each other by
frequently remaining together during parenting time.
Sometimes scheduling separate parenting time is appropriate based on:
• The unique personalities or developmental needs of children (see Child
Development and Parenting Time Considerations).
• A child’s need to develop a relationship with each parent through one-on-one time.
• The family’s schedule.
• The distance between households.
For example, older children usually have more social, athletic, and academic activities or
part-time jobs that may interfere with scheduled parenting time, while younger children
require frequent contact with parents and other caregivers for attachment and bonding.
Parents can consider different pick up and drop off times to allow the older child to
participate in activities and also allow time for the children to be together for parenting
time.
The parenting time schedule may include some time alone for each parent with each child.
Children of different ages may enjoy different activities and appreciate opportunities to
have their own time with parents. Remember that the sample schedules are only
suggestions. Parents may decide that a certain schedule works best for all of their children,
even though features of that schedule are not recommended for a child’s developmental
stage.
27
Special Considerations
Blended and Step Families
Family structures vary, and may include siblings, step-siblings, half-siblings,
step parents, and other significant relationships. There is not a one-size-
fits-all parenting time model for each unique family structure.
Parents should keep in mind the following general considerations:
• Changing family relationships can be very difficult for children. Your role as mom or
dad does not change when new partners are involved. Try to understand your
child’s feelings about changes in your household.
• When separated parents form new relationships, parenting time may be further
complicated. Your child may benefit from talking with you about any new
relationships before meeting the new partner or family member.
• Spend some alone time with your child so your child does not feel overshadowed by
new family members.
• Avoid discussing issues related to a new relationship in front of the child.
• Children may benefit from spending time with siblings, step-siblings, and half-
siblings. Be sensitive to multiple parenting time schedules.
Grandparenting Time
Family ties are important for children in
building a sense of identity and belonging
within the extended family. A relationship
with extended family also provides the
child with important family medical
history information, as well as a support
network of caregivers beyond the parents.
When appropriate, parents should
encourage a relationship between the child
and extended family members.
If families cannot reach an agreement
about grandparenting time, grandparents
may request that the court make a decision
on the matter. Grandparents have some particular rights in specific circumstances that can
be pursued through the court. MCL 722.27b.
28
Safety Concerns
Safety Concerns
Domestic Violence
Parents are often encouraged to work together to reach agreements about custody and
parenting time. However, sometimes negotiating between parents may not be appropriate
or safe, especially if there is an imbalance of power between parents.
When one parent perpetrates domestic
violence, for example, a power imbalance
could make it impossible or unsafe for
parents to work together to agree on
parenting time. “Perpetrating” means doing
harmful or criminal things.
This section provides options and ideas to
increase safety of the child or adult victim. If
you think you might be a victim of domestic
violence, you may want to contact an
attorney or domestic violence advocate for
advice or support.
Signs of domestic violence
If you can answer “yes” to any of these
questions, domestic violence may be an
issue for your family, and this Guideline
may not meet the safety needs of your
family.
Has the other parent ever made you
feel threatened or harassed?
Do you have any concerns about
being in the same room as the other
parent?
Do you have any concerns about
discussing issues about your child
in front of the other parent?
Do you feel unable to speak up for
yourself if the other parent is also
present?
The FOC 124 form has other common
questions to identify domestic violence.
Help with Domestic Violence is available 24/7
Safety Alert:
Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are
afraid your Internet usage might be monitored, call one of the hotline numbers below for help.
Find resources online from the Michigan Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence:
https://www.mcedsv.org/ and survivor resources from the Michigan Domestic Violence
Prevention and Treatment Board.
Michigan Sexual Assault Hotline - 24/7. Free. Confidential:
855- VOICES4 (855- 864- 2374)
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800- 799- 7233
29
Safety Concerns
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence comes in many forms. For the purposes of this Guideline, this term
means a pattern of behavior characterized by the use of physical, psychological, sexual,
emotional, and/or verbal tactics, both criminal and non-criminal, to control and coerce a
past or current intimate partner by fear or intimidation, which may or may not be apparent
to outside observers.
1
Michigan’s legal definition of domestic violence. MCL 400.1501.
“Any of the following acts by a person that is not an act of self-defense:
• Causing or attempting to cause physical or mental harm to a family or household
member.
• Placing a family or household member in fear of physical or mental harm.
• Causing or attempting to cause a family or household member to engage in
involuntary sexual activity by force, threat of force, or duress.
• Engaging in activity toward a family or household member that would cause a
reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed,
or molested.”
Perpetrating domestic violence is a crime. However, it can be difficult to recognize
domestic violence. Domestic violence includes much more than physical abuse, such as
these examples:
• Emotional abuse. Isolating the other parent from family and friends, making
degrading remarks, blaming the abused parent for the abuse, monitoring the other
parent’s activities, making and enforcing extreme rules, threatening suicide if the
parent leaves.
• Using the child. Using the child or court processes to perpetrate abuse; threatening
that the other parent will not see the child; threatening to take the child away;
having the child act as an informant to gather information about the abused parent;
encouraging the child to make threats or insults.
• Economic abuse. Controlling finances; limiting the other parent’s access to money;
preventing participation in job training or from getting or keeping a job; restricting
or controlling the use of a vehicle or other means of transportation.
• Sexual coercion and threats. Making sexually degrading statements; threatening
to find another partner if sex is refused; refusing to help prevent unwanted
pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.
• Preventing healthcare. Interfering with or prohibiting the other parent from
seeking medical, psychological, or substance abuse treatment.
1
This explanation of domestic violence is based on the definition used in the Michigan Office of Dispute
Resolution’s Domestic Violence Screening Protocol for Mediators of Domestic Relations Conflicts and was
developed in coordination with the Michigan Domestic and Sexual Violence Prevention and Treatment Board.
30
Safety Concerns
For more information, see the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence’s “Power
and Control Wheel.”
Domestic Violence Screening
FOC staff, referees, and judges must be convinced that parents are able to make decisions in
the best interests of the child, and that they were not pressured or threatened by the other
parent to agree to something.
ADR
FOC offices screen cases for domestic violence before conducting ADR (Facilitative and
Information-Gathering Conference, Mediation, or Joint Meeting).
The FOC may use a questionnaire (FOC 124) to help with screening. Any information a
parent provides on this form will be treated as confidential. It cannot be shared with the
other parent, the other parent’s attorney, or any member of the public. The referee or
judge assigned to your case will not use any information from the screening form during a
hearing.
If you are concerned about the screening process, contact your FOC office to ask how this
information will be handled.
Investigations
Sometimes the court orders the FOC to conduct a custody and/or parenting time
investigation. When the FOC conducts a custody and parenting time investigation, it must
consider the best interest factors in the Michigan Child Custody Act. One of the best-
interest factors (factor k) is: “Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was
directed against or witnessed by the child.” The FOC employee will investigate this and all
other factors with the parents, and then provide a report summarizing the findings and
recommendations to the judge, attorneys, and parents.
Safety Precautions for Domestic Violence Victims
FOC Safety Precautions
Victims often have to balance their safety and their children’s safety when deciding if and
when to disclose information about their victimization. If you tell the FOC about any
domestic violence concerns before or at any time during ADR and investigation processes,
it will help the FOC with safety planning for your appointment and in making a safer
custody and parenting time recommendation, and help the judge make a safer custody and
parenting time decision.
The FOC office can take steps to increase a victim’s safety and ability to negotiate and/or
share information freely during such appointments, including but not limited to:
Allowing the victim’s attorney to attend the appointment.
Allowing the victim’s support person or other advocate (approved by the FOC) to
attend the appointment. The person may have to wait outside the meeting room
during the appointment.
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Safety Concerns
Holding separate appointments on the same or separate days (sometimes called
“shuttle” style).
Holding the appointment by phone or videoconference.
It is very important to tell the FOC office before your appointment if you would like any of
these or other accommodations.
Sometimes victims might be at increased risk, such as when documents are sent to both
parents about an FOC custody and parenting time report and investigation. You can ask the
FOC to keep you informed of such steps so that you can take necessary safety precautions.
For example, some victims might choose to temporarily stay with a family member or have
someone stay with them.
Protective Orders
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you may want to consider asking the court for a
personal protection order (sometimes called a “PPO”), a no contact order, or another
protective order. For additional information about personal protection orders, see
Michigan Legal Help.
Domestic Violence and Parenting Time
Domestic violence should be carefully considered to ensure the safety of the parents and
child. An individual’s choice to perpetrate domestic violence has significant impacts on not
just the abused parent, but also the child’s safety and wellbeing. Exposure to violence,
especially multiple exposures, can interfere with a child’s physical, emotional, and
intellectual development.
Domestic violence perpetrators sometimes use parenting time to cause further harm to the
victim and child. They may harm the child directly or use the child as a tool to continue to
abuse the adult victim.
There are parenting time options that may support you and your child’s safety before,
during, and after parenting time. Before discussing parenting time with the FOC or the
court, it might be helpful to explore these options with your attorney or with someone from
a domestic violence organization.
• Specific parenting time orders.
When a power imbalance exists between parents, the more specific a parenting time
order, the better. Specific orders can eliminate or greatly reduce the need for
parents to communicate or negotiate.
Most families benefit from orders that:
Avoid nonspecific language such as “reasonable parenting time,” “parenting
time as agreed by the parties,” or “parenting time to be arranged later.”
Clearly define parenting time days, times, transportation, pick-up and drop-
off locations, holidays, and school breaks.
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Safety Concerns
For some families, any of the following optional specific provisions may help
support safety:
Specify how the parents should communicate with each other to arrange any
parenting time changes (for example, through e-mail, web-based programs,
or smart phone apps).
If possible, arrange parenting time so that the parents will not have contact.
If the parents must meet to transfer the child, require that the transfer take
place in the presence of a third party approved by the domestic violence
victim and in a public setting, or use a safe exchange program.
Specify how parents will resolve future parenting time disputes (for example,
the court order could require parents to work with a parenting coordinator,
mediator, or FOC employee to resolve disputes).
Include future court hearing dates to review how a temporary parenting time
order is working. This can also be used with a graduated schedule, where
parenting time increases after completing certain milestones.
• Supervised Parenting Time.
In some cases involving domestic violence, parenting time needs to be supervised by
an agency or a third party.
If possible, select an agency provider of supervised parenting time with
expertise in domestic violence. The next best option is a third party of the
victim’s approval and choosing.
Clearly identify who will act as the supervising third party and ensure the
supervisor accepts and is approved by the victim.
Establish the supervisor’s responsibilities. If an agency is providing
supervision, identify how and when the agency will be contacted and how the
cost of services will be paid.
Supervision should continue until the parent who perpetrated domestic
violence has demonstrated a history of behavioral change reported by
multiple sources (for example, a batterer’s intervention program and the
victim).
Find more information in the Supervised Parenting Time section.
• Protective Orders.
The parenting time should not violate any order limiting contact between the
parents, such as a personal protection order (PPO), a no contact order, or another
protective order. If there is a protective order in place, it may have to be modified
by the court to account for parenting time. If a parenting time order is in place, it
33
Safety Concerns
may have to be modified to align with the protective order. Such modification could
include:
Using an agency or other third party to supervise the parenting time of the
perpetrating parent.
Using a safe exchange program that provides staggered pick-ups and drop-
offs.
Using a public or other neutral place for parenting time exchanges.
Having a third party provide transportation of the child.
Parents Living in a Facility
Some parents may be incarcerated in a jail or prison or receiving treatment in a residential
facility. The inability to leave such facilities makes it difficult to maintain a strong
relationship with their children. Strategies may be worked out with a child’s therapist,
mentors, or other family members to ensure that parent is “present” during the time away
from the family. Mail and phone communication are sometimes appropriate options for
maintaining a child-parent relationship. Other strategies include keeping pictures of the
parent on display in the child’s home, engaging in activities that were important to the
family, and trying to create a healthy dialogue about the parent that can be incorporated
into family behaviors.
In some cases, scheduled parenting time for an incarcerated or institutionalized parent
may also be appropriate. However, there are unique challenges associated with parental
incarceration and parental mental illness, in particular.
In situations where the parent committed a crime against the child, or if the child is
severely traumatized by past actions of the parent, parenting time may not be appropriate.
Generally, a court must make a finding on whether parenting time is appropriate for an
incarcerated or institutionalized parent.
If there is no parenting time order accounting for the parent’s incarcerated or
institutionalized status, an order might need to be established or changed accordingly.
Parents may file a motion to modify the order on their own or with an attorney’s help. The
court may rely on experts, such as therapists, about the impact on the child. Parents should
express any concerns to the court about the child’s physical, mental, or emotional
wellbeing.
Before parenting time happens at a correctional or mental health facility:
Gain a thorough understanding of facility procedures, rules about how to arrange
visits, and any safety protocols for visits.
Consider the environment the child would be in during visits and how appropriate it
is for the age and maturity level of the child.
If possible, engage the child in individualized therapy or a mentorship program to
address any barriers to parenting time and any confusion or trauma resulting from
34
Safety Concerns
the visit – whether these result from contact with the parent or from the visit to the
facility.
Decide who will take the child for parenting time. Sometimes caregivers besides the
other parent should be considered, especially if the other parent is unwilling or may
find the experience traumatic. The process of visiting an incarcerated parent should
not be negative for the child, which may mean limiting which caregivers take the
child for visits.
Gauge the willingness of the caregiver to consistently engage in the parenting time
schedule, even when visits may be demanding.
When considering parenting time via telephone, video, and letter writing:
Understand how often individuals at the facility may make telephone or video calls
and send letters.
Obtain information about any costs of making and receiving calls.
Decide who is responsible for any financial costs associated with receiving collect
telephone calls.
Inform the parent living in the facility of the telephone number and address to reach
the child. Verify that the residents of the child’s address and owners of the
telephone line are willing to facilitate the communication between the incarcerated
parent and child.
If a parent chooses to allow parenting time for an incarcerated or institutionalized parent
without a court order, the parent should consider the impact it would have on the child.
When parenting time is appropriate, consider the following to create a safe parenting time
schedule.
Incarcerated Parents
NOTE: This section uses the terms “visit” and “visitation” to describe when someone goes to a
correctional facility (jail or prison) to see the incarcerated parent. These terms are
intentionally used for consistency with jail and prison resources and communications.
Children who miss out on a relationship with an
incarcerated parent may suffer various consequences
in their development. Parental incarceration can
result in feelings of loss for a child. The loss can be
further complicated by the social stigma of
incarceration, as well as the uncertainties a child may
experience in trying to connect with a parent who is
removed from the family structure. Even if the parent
was not living with the child before incarceration or
had limited contact, not being able to spend time with the child during the period of
incarceration can cause emotional or psychological suffering for all parties involved.
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Safety Concerns
Maintaining a strong child-parent relationship can have benefits for both the incarcerated
parent and the child. This is possible through carefully planned parenting time, or by
working with a qualified mental health professional.
Tips for the Caregiver Facilitating Parenting Time
Parenting time with an incarcerated parent should promote the child’s physical, emotional,
and psychological well-being. Caregivers facilitating the parenting time should understand
that their behaviors and what they say about an incarcerated parent can affect the child’s
relationship with that parent, sometimes negatively.
Caregivers should:
Once the child is ready for visits with an incarcerated parent, educate the child with
age-appropriate information about the visits, including but not limited to:
How often the visits will occur.
Safety protocols of the facility.
Any contact restrictions enforced by the facility.
How the child can indicate that he/she would like to leave.
Caregivers should not:
Argue with the incarcerated parent when the child is nearby.
Make negative statements about the incarcerated parent or the incarcerated
parent’s family when the child is nearby.
Make promises that they cannot keep.
Attempt to destroy the incarcerated parent’s relationship with the child.
Parents Living in a Mental Health Facility
A mental illness does not necessarily prevent a parent from establishing and maintaining a
healthy parent-child relationship. A parent in a residential mental health facility may still
be able to have productive parenting time.
Parents, caregivers, and any professionals involved should discuss the child’s age and
maturity, and the emotional impact of visiting the parent. When designing a parenting time
schedule, verify that any proposed visits align with the latest parenting time court order
and with the facility’s policies and procedures.
The caregiver may want to discuss the court order with the facility’s treatment staff and
social workers. The court order may have to be amended if it does not provide the parent
living in a mental health facility with parenting time opportunities.
Tips for the Caregiver Facilitating Parenting Time
Think about the environment the child would be in during visits and how
appropriate it is for the age and maturity level of the child.
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Safety Concerns
Talk to the child before visits. For example, ask simple questions:
“What have you heard about this place?”
“What do you think this is going to be like?”
“Why do you think Mom/Dad is living there now?”
And assure the child that:
The parent is in the facility to get better;
The facility is a safe place for both parent and child; and
Any unusual or frightening behavior by the institutionalized parent is not the
child’s fault.
Educate the child with age-appropriate information about the visits, such as how
often the visits will occur, safety protocols of the facility, any contact restrictions
enforced by the facility, and how the child can indicate that he or she would like to
leave.
Provide the child age-appropriate education (through a therapist when possible)
about mental health, mental illness, and the treatment process, especially about the
parent’s specific condition.
Gain a thorough understanding of facility procedures and rules about how to
arrange visits and any safety protocols for visits.
Make sure the child has an opportunity to talk through any confusion or trauma
from seeing the parent or from visiting the facility. If possible, provide the child
sessions with a mental health professional, mentor, or support group.
In addition to benefitting the child, research suggests that contact with a child
can be important for a parent’s recovery from severe mental illness.
If visits are not appropriate but other contact may be safe for the child, the institutionalized
parent may keep in touch by phone calls or video conferencing.
Parents with Disabilities
Some parents may have a physical or mental disability to consider when developing a
parenting time schedule. The parenting time schedule should be developed so that parent
and child are both able to fully participate in parenting time and create or maintain a
strong relationship.
Parenting time schedules should consider a parent’s medications, treatments, and the use
of medical/supportive equipment. For example, considerations might include:
• Does the parent live independently or does the parent need help with everyday
tasks?
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Safety Concerns
• Is the parent taking medication during parenting time? If so, what impact does the
medication have on the parent? For example, does the medication make the parent
drowsy or impair the parent’s judgment?
• Does the parenting time schedule need to account for the parent’s treatment or
appointment schedule?
• Who will transport the child for parenting time if the parent is unable to drive?
• Is the parent able to meet the minor child’s needs during parenting time?
• Will the parent be able to take the child to school or extracurricular activities, either
independently or with assistance? Are there any concerns with the third party who
provides assistance being present during parenting time?
• Are the parent’s living arrangements adapted to the disability in a way that would
impact the child?
The parent’s disability should be discussed with the child using age-appropriate language.
Understanding the disability may help the child feel safe and – when necessary and
appropriate – also help the parent who has the disability.
Supervised and Therapeutic Parenting Time
Supervised Parenting Time
Supervised parenting time is when a third party or agency oversees parenting time. In
most instances of court-ordered supervised parenting time, it is ordered because of
concern for the safety or well-being of the child during parenting time. There are two
objectives of a supervised parenting time order. The primary objective of supervised
parenting time is to provide a safe environment, whether safety is a concern for the child,
the other parent, or both. The secondary objective is to move the supervised parenting
time toward an unsupervised plan if certain objectives are achieved.
Typically, supervised parenting time orders include a description of the behavior that
would need to change before moving to unsupervised parenting time, a description of
services ordered to help support the desired behavior change, and a timeline for when the
order will be reviewed to see if progress toward unsupervised parenting time has been
made. Generally, one of three methods will be used to determine when a plan moves to the
next phase:
1. Moving from supervised to unsupervised parenting time could occur automatically*
when the parent accomplishes certain milestones (for example, attending a certain
number of visits or achieving goals set out in the order). However, in creating such
orders, it is important to understand that in many situations the passage of time
alone may not change the behavior that created the need for supervision. Further
assessment may be necessary to determine progression to the next phase of the
plan.
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Safety Concerns
*This method is not recommended when there has been domestic violence or other
serious safety concerns for the child or the other parent.
2. A supervised parenting time plan could include specific dates for the court to review
the plan to determine whether unsupervised parenting time should occur based
upon measurable behavior changes reported by multiple sources.
3. The plan could require that parenting time be reviewed only at the request of a
parent.
Graduated plans can be used to move from supervised to unsupervised parenting time.
For example, the plan could call for agency intervention, followed by third-party
supervision, followed by short periods of unsupervised parenting time in a public place,
and moving toward extended periods of unsupervised parenting time. Information should
be gathered from multiple sources to determine if the desired behavior change has been
achieved before moving to the next step in the plan.
The particular method selected for supervised parenting time varies with the reason for
the supervision. The type of supervised parenting time selected should reflect goals
relevant to the family’s mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing.
Agency Parenting Time
Agency parenting time occurs in a supervised setting to ensure protection of the child or
the victim parent (for example, in cases involving child abuse, substance abuse, and
domestic violence). Most agencies provide trained professionals to oversee supervised
parenting time. Common examples of agencies that may provide supervised parenting
time include the friend of the court office, family and children’s services offices, counseling
centers, substance abuse or other treatment centers, and programs available through
domestic violence agencies.
Although designed primarily for protection, agency supervision may be used along with
therapy or parenting skills training to provide the parent with the skills required to move
into an unsupervised setting. An agency may also be used in domestic violence cases when
other types of supervision (such as supervision by a relative of the abusive parent) may not
be appropriate or safe. Domestic violence experts recommend in domestic violence or
child abuse cases that any therapy or skills training should only be provided:
• By someone with expertise in the area.
• When the perpetrator has demonstrated an ability to take responsibility for his or
her actions.
• With input from the victim to ensure therapy is not inadvertently placing the victim
at increased risk.
• When the therapy does not include a perpetrator and victim of domestic violence
together.
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Safety Concerns
For example, this type of plan may be appropriate when abuse of the child or substance
abuse is involved and the parent is currently undergoing treatment. As treatment
progresses and behavior changes, the parenting time arrangements could move, in stages,
toward unsupervised parenting time. A plan may require that more than one agency be
involved. In such cases, it is important to have communication between all agencies
involved.
Agencies providing supervised parenting time services must adhere to certain standards
for parenting time that may be refined to meet the needs of the particular case.
Standards for Agency Parenting Time
Agencies that provide supervised parenting time services should employ qualified
individuals who are capable of enforcing rules designed to ensure the safety of the child.
Usually, agencies supervising parenting time consider the following to be minimal
requirements. Additional guidelines may be established by the agency as appropriate for
furthering the goals of the particular case.
In certain situations, such as child sexual abuse, all physical contact between the
child and the parent must be initiated by the child, or verbal permission given by
child, unless otherwise approved by the agency.
The supervisor must be able to see and hear all interactions between the child and
the parent exercising parenting time.
The parent must not initiate discussion with the child concerning any alleged abuse
or try to gather information from the child that could impact the safety or wellbeing
of the child or other family members.
Discussion with the child of adult problems such as court proceedings or parental
disagreements should only occur when approved and facilitated by the supervisor.
If the parent wants to give a gift to the child, the parent must discuss it with the
supervisor in advance.
Efforts should be made to work with interpreters as necessary for parenting time to
occur in the child’s preferred language and the parent exercising parenting time.
There should be no discussion, derogatory comments, or questioning of the child
concerning the other parent, the other parent’s relationships, or the other parent’s
activities.
There should be no discussion with the child concerning future living arrangements
or changes in parenting time, except as determined in advance between the parent
and the agency.
The child should not be used to send any messages or documents to the other
parent or family member.
The child should not be questioned concerning where the child lives or goes to
school.
40
Safety Concerns
Parents must follow all directives and requests from staff.
All parenting time should occur only in areas designated for that purpose.
No one other than the parent should be present at the center or in any area that is in
direct view of the center unless arranged and approved by the center in advance.
No drugs or alcohol may be brought to the agency, nor may a parent appear at the
agency under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Phone use and use of electronics should be prearranged and monitored.
Third-Party Supervision
Third-party supervised parenting time is parenting time supervised by a friend, relative, or
other individual selected by the court. Third-party supervision may be recommended in
cases where circumstances indicate that monitoring is warranted, but agency intervention
is not required.
Generally, third-party supervision should only occur when it is accompanied by a plan for
full restoration of an unsupervised plan within a certain period of time or under specified
conditions. If the circumstances of the case indicate a need for more intensive or long-term
supervision, the case may be more appropriately managed by agency supervision.
The third party should be chosen by agreement of the parents, be of an appropriate age,
and possess the necessary skills to supervise the parenting time. The proposed parenting
time supervisor must consent to supervise the parenting time.
The focus of third-party supervision is protection, not therapy. The supervision should
safeguard the child from any harm that may occur because of the specific reason(s) for
supervision. Depending on the reason for the order for supervision, the supervision could
be minimal, such as the parenting time take place only at a designated location (the home
of one of the grandparents, for example), or the supervision could be more extensive, such
as the parenting time occur in the immediate presence of the third-party supervisor or that
the parenting time occur in the constant visual presence of a supervisor.
Therapeutic Parenting Time
Therapeutic parenting time is used in complex
or reunifying cases where intervention focuses
on strengthening the relationship between
parent and child. Some examples may include
when a parent and child have not had contact
for an extended period of time, when the
relationship has deteriorated to the point
where the child is refusing to see the parent, or
to help resolve past conflicts.
Therapeutic parenting time is not appropriate
in domestic violence or child abuse cases
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Safety Concerns
unless the perpetrator is engaged in treatment specific to his or her abusive behaviors and
is taking responsibility for his or her actions.
Therapeutic supervised parenting time orders might include the following:
• the goals of the service;
• the professional(s) who will be working with the family;
• who will be seen in sessions;
• the limits of confidentiality for each professional with the court and with the
parents;
• the permissible lines of communication among those involved;
• who is responsible for payment for the therapy;
• an agreed-upon process for terminating the therapy or transferring to another
therapist or family counselor.
It is important to select a professional who is willing to work with the court, which could
include providing update reports and/or testimony to the court throughout the course of
treatment. Your local family court or FOC may be able to recommend professionals in your
area.
Parent-Child Reunification
For various reasons, a parent may have been absent from a child’s life for a period of time
or may not have any relationship with the child. In families where a parent has been
absent from the child’s life, special steps should be taken to introduce or reintroduce the
child and parent:
• Whenever possible, families should engage in counseling to build trust between the
child and parent.
• Parenting plans should gradually increase time with the absent parent. Consider
starting with phone calls, e-mails, letters, cards, or Virtual Parenting Time before
beginning in-person parenting time.
• In some cases, supervised parenting time may be appropriate initially. Families
should consider Third Party Supervision, Therapeutic Parenting Time, or third
parties handling the pick-up and drop-off so that the child and parent are
comfortable.
• As the absent parent gets to know the child’s interests and activities, eventually it
might be appropriate for that parent to begin attending the child’s extracurricular
events.
• The absent parent may benefit from parenting classes to learn more about parental
responsibilities and co-parenting.
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Safety Concerns
A parent being absent from the child’s life may sometimes be the result of domestic violence or
child abuse. In these situations, additional safeguards, including Agency Parenting Time,
may be needed.
Guardianships
A guardianship is when a court gives someone who is not a biological or adoptive parent
the legal responsibility for making all major decisions about the child’s upbringing (such as
medical treatment, school enrollment, and religious instruction). When a guardianship is
established, the court may award parenting time with a biological parent to allow a healthy
parent-child relationship while neither parent has physical custody of the child.
The parenting time schedule should ensure the child’s safety. In addition to the child’s age,
schedule, and special needs, specific considerations include:
• Any history of child abuse or neglect;
• Any issues the parent(s) may struggle with, including substance abuse, mental
health, and absence from the child’s life;
• Limiting parenting time to a duration and frequency in the child’s best interests.
Supervised parenting time options may be considered.
43
Blank Calendar
Blank Calendar
Parents may use this calendar to design the schedule that best meets their family’s needs.
It may help to write out the child’s regular activities, like school and extracurricular
activities, before trying to decide on a parenting time schedule.
Many parents find it helpful to color-code calendars; write the parents’ names, initials, or
“Mom” and “Dad;” add the time of the exchanges; and show if the child is staying overnight.
Parents should read the Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations
sections that apply to their child before deciding on a schedule.
Sample parenting time schedules are available in the next section. Parents should be sure
to read the advantages and disadvantages of the different options presented. For example,
some schedules will not work well for parents who live far apart.
Parenting Time Schedule
Sun
Mon
Tues
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat
44
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
These samples are only a starting place to find the right schedule for your family. As you
customize your family’s schedule, remember that if your family has any
Safety Concerns
,
it is possible that none of these samples will be appropriate, and you may want to ask for
help from a professional. Also remember that parenting time is not about “fairness” to
you as a parent, but for your child’s healthy development, and it should align with your
child’s stage of development:
• Infants: Birth to 12 months
• Toddlers: 12 months to 3 years
• Young children: 3 to 5 years
• Elementary school age: 5 to 10 years
• Middle school age: 10 to 14 years
• High school age: 14 to 18 years
No.
Schedule Name & Description
Page
Daytime Only
1
Short daytime visits
p. 47
Two or more periods of 3-5 hours spaced throughout each week.
2
Long daytime visits
p. 47
One or more periods of 4-6 hours spaced throughout each week.
3
Short and long daytime visits
p. 48
One or more 3-5 hour periods and one 8-hour period spaced throughout each week.
Daytime + Non-consecutive Overnights
4
One overnight plus short visits
p. 49
One or more periods of 3-6 hours and an overnight each week.
5
Non-consecutive overnights
p. 49
Two periods of 3-6 hours and two non-consecutive overnights each week.
Weekdays + Consecutive Overnights
6
Two overnights plus daytime
p. 50
One period of 3-6 hours and two consecutive overnights each week.
7
Midweek evening plus alternating weekends
p. 50
Two consecutive overnights every other week. An additional 3- to 6-hour period or
overnight may be added each week.
8
Midweek evening plus alternating long weekends
p. 51
Three consecutive overnights every other week and an additional 3- to 6-hour period
each week.
9
One weeknight and alternating weekends
p. 52
Four consecutive overnights during Week 1 and one overnight during Week 2.
Rotating Parenting Time
10
Two days on, two days off
p. 53
The child is with each parent for two consecutive days.
Caution – this plan should only be used when parents can commit to it.
45
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
11
Two week rotation (2-2-3)
p. 54
Two consecutive overnights with each parent during the week, followed by three
consecutive weekend overnights, with the schedule alternating each week.
Caution – this plan should only be used when parents can commit to it.
12
Split week (4-3-3-4)
p. 55
Split each week and weekend.
13
Split week with alternating weekends (5-2-2-5)
p. 56
Each parent has the same 2 consecutive weekday overnights each week and alternates
the weekends.
14
Alternating weeks
p. 57
The parents share time with the child during alternating 7-day periods. A midweek
overnight period is optional with the parent who does not have parenting time that week.
Caution – This schedule might not be appropriate for all young children, in particular.
Extended Parenting Time
Some families may want to create a regular schedule for longer periods of parenting time
with each parent. Many families use these opportunities to take vacations.
For example: “Each year, each parent may spend four weeks of uninterrupted summer
parenting time with the child.”
Two-week periods or less may be best for younger children. If a longer vacation period is
used, the child should have the opportunity for contact with the non-vacationing parent
during the vacation period. Parents should try not to disrupt the child’s extracurricular
activities when scheduling extended parenting time.
Traveling During Parenting Time
Parents may want to establish standard expectations for traveling with the
child during parenting time. Many families decide on a certain amount of
notice that the traveling parent must give the other parent before taking a
trip with the child. For example, some families might include in their court
order that each parent should give the other parent at least 30 days written
notice before any travel. The written notice should include the location(s)
and how to reach the child and parent.
Holidays
Parents may choose to alternate, share, or
split holidays. Whatever your family
decides, it is best to write down the
agreement, being as specific as possible, and
include it in your court order. The holiday
schedule should be followed, even if the
holiday falls on the other parent’s normal
time.
46
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
For example: This year Mother’s Day falls on a Sunday when your child is scheduled to be
with the father from after school on Friday to 5 pm on Sunday. Your court order says that
your child spends Mother’s day with the mother every year starting 5 pm the evening before.
Your child would spend parenting time with the father Friday night until 5 pm Saturday,
when the mother’s parenting time would start.
Consider each parent’s practices in
determining which holidays to exercise or
alternate. It is best to include a complete list of
all holidays that each parent would like
considered in the parenting time schedule.
Parents may request parenting time on specific
days that are important to their religious or
cultural practices. Another example of a
common holiday consideration is when one
extended family has an important gathering
for a certain holiday every year, and that same
holiday is less important for the other parent.
Holiday parenting time, after a parenting time order is established, might factor into a child
support calculation. When counting overnights, many parents find it helpful to map out the
schedule for a full year on a calendar and then count the overnights with each parent.
47
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Daytime Only
Schedule 1: Short Daytime Visits
Two or more periods of 3-5 hours
spaced throughout each week.
Comment: Frequent contact helps the
child bond with each parent,
something that is important for the
child’s healthy development.
Schedule 1: Short Daytime Visits
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 2: Long Daytime Visits
One or more periods of 4-6 hours
spaced throughout each week.
Comment: This schedule is more
appropriate than Schedule 1 if the
parents’ work schedules, living
situations, or levels of conflict with
each other make more frequent
exchanges difficult. Because this
schedule only has two visits each
week, bonding between the parent and
child may take a little more time, and
the child may have difficulty going
from one parent to the other.
Schedule 2: Long Daytime Visits
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works for any of these situations:
• The child will spend less time with
one parent because of school/work
schedules or living arrangements;
• The child has not yet developed a
bond with a parent;
• A parent has limited parenting
skills; or
• The child has previously spent most
of the time with one parent.
Advantages
•
The child has frequent contact with both
parents, helping develop a bond.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Each parent gets a few weekly “breaks.”
Disadvantages
• In Schedule 1, there are six exchanges each
week, which might be difficult if parents do
not get along.
48
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Daytime Only (continued)
Schedule 3: Short and Long Daytime Visits
One or more periods of 3-5 hours and
one 8-hour period spaced throughout
each week.
Comment: Frequent contact helps the
child bond with each parent,
something that is important for the
child’s healthy development.
Schedule 3: Short and Long Daytime Visits
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works for any of these situations:
• Parents of infants or toddlers have
already been using Schedule 1 or 2;
• Both parents of an infant already
have a bond with the child;
• A parent of a school-age child has
limited parenting skills;
• The school-age child will spend less
time with one parent because of
school/work schedules or living
arrangements; or
• The child has previously spent most
of the time with one parent.
Advantages
•
The child has frequent contact with both
parents, helping develop a bond.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Each parent gets a few weekly “breaks.”
Disadvantages
• There are six exchanges each week, which
might be difficult if the parents do not get
along or live far apart.
• The week may seem broken up.
49
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Daytime + Non-consecutive Overnights
Schedule 4: One overnight plus short visits
One or more periods of 3-6 hours and
an overnight each week.
Comment: Frequent contact helps the
child bond with each parent,
something that is important for the
child’s healthy development.
Schedule 4: One Overnight
Plus Short Visits
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 5: Non-consecutive Overnights
Two periods of 3-6 hours and two non-
consecutive overnights each week.
Comment: More frequent overnights
with both parents allows the child
more opportunity for bonding with
both parents.
Schedule 5: Non-consecutive Overnights
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works for any of these situations:
• The child will spend less time with
one parent because of work
schedules, living arrangements, or
great distance between homes;
• The child has not yet developed a
bond with a parent;
• A parent has limited parenting
skills; or
• The child has previously spent most
of the time with one parent.
Advantages
•
The child has frequent but short visits with
each parent.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Each parent gets a few weekly “breaks.”
Disadvantages
• There are 6-8 exchanges each week, which
might be difficult if parents do not get along
or live far apart.
• The week may seem broken up.
•
Some school-age children may struggle with
school-day exchanges.
50
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Weekdays + Consecutive Overnights
Schedule 6: Two Overnights Plus Daytime
One period of 3-6 hours and two
consecutive overnights each week.
Comment: Frequent contact helps the
child bond with each parent,
something that is important for the
child’s healthy development.
Schedule 6: Two Overnights Plus Daytime
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 7: Midweek Evening Plus Alternating Weekends
Two consecutive overnights every
other weekend. One 3- to 6-hour
period or overnight may be added in
the middle of each week.
Comment: Because this schedule has
only one or two visits each week, new
bonding between a parent and child
may take a little more time, and the
child may have difficulty going from
one parent to the other.
Schedule 7: Midweek and Alternating
Weekends
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works for any of these situations:
• The child will spend less time with
one parent because of work/school
schedules or living arrangements;
• The child needs the stability of a
single primary residence;
• One of the parents does not have
living space where the child can stay
longer; or
• The child has previously spent most
of the time with one parent.
Advantages
•
The child has frequent visits with each
parent.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Each parent gets a few weekly “breaks.”
Disadvantages
• The child goes six days at a time without
seeing one parent.
51
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Weekdays + Consecutive Overnights (continued)
Schedule 8: Midweek Evening Plus Alternating Long Weekends
Three consecutive overnights every
other week and an additional 3- to 6-
hour period each week.
Comment: Long weekends require
coordination and a low degree of
conflict between parents to have the
child ready for school on Monday
mornings and ready for parenting time
after school on Fridays.
Schedule 8: Midweek and Alternating
Long Weekends
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Useful in any of these situations:
• The child will spend less time with
one parent because of work/school
schedules or living arrangements; or
• The child has previously spent most
of the time with one parent.
Advantages
•
The child has frequent visits with each
parent.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Each parent gets a few weekly “breaks.”
Disadvantages
• Some school-age children may struggle with
school-day exchanges.
•
This schedule may be difficult for teenagers.
52
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Weekdays + Consecutive Overnights (continued)
Schedule 9: One Weeknight and Alternating Weekends
Four consecutive overnights during
Week 1 and one overnight during
Week 2. Weekends alternate and are
long. If the child is in school, pickups
and drop-offs can be at the start and
end of the school day.
Comment: This schedule requires
living arrangements (especially
distance between parents’ homes) that
limit the stress of transitions on the
child, especially if the child is school
age because weekend parenting time
begins on a Thursday.
Schedule 9: One Weeknight and
Alternating Weekends
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
child won’t have much travel
between homes; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
Minimal parental contact for exchanges if
the child is in school.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Long weekends can be used for short trips
during school breaks.
Disadvantages
• The child may go five days every other
week without seeing one of the parents.
•
Some school-age children may struggle with
school day exchanges.
53
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time
Schedule 10: Two Days On, Two Days Off
The child is with each parent for two
consecutive days.
Comment: This schedule requires a
high degree of communication and a
low level of conflict between parents.
It also requires living arrangements
(especially distance between parents’
homes) that limit the stress of
transitions on the child.
CAUTION: This schedule should
only be used when parents can commit
to it.
Schedule 10: Two Days On, Two Days Off
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
child won’t have much travel
between homes; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
The child sees each parent every two days.
• Parents have longer blocks of time to bond
with the child.
Disadvantages
• There is no day of the week consistency
from one week to the next, which can
complicate making plans.
• The week may feel broken up.
•
Some school-age children may struggle with
school-day exchanges.
54
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time (continued)
Schedule 11: Two-Week Rotation (2-2-3)
Two consecutive overnights with each
parent during the week, followed by
three consecutive weekend overnights,
with the schedule alternating each
week. Weekends alternate. If the child
is in school, pickups and drop-offs can
all be made at the start and end of the
school day.
CAUTION: This schedule should
only be used when parents can commit
to it.
This variation has longer weekends with each
parent and two school-week exchanges.
This variation has shorter weekends with each
parent but only one school-week exchange.
Schedule 11a: Two-Week Rotation (2-2-3)
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 11b: Two-Week Rotation (3-2-2)
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
child won’t have much travel
between homes; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
The child sees each parent every two days.
• Parents have longer blocks of time to bond
with the child.
Disadvantages
• There is no day of the week consistency
from one week to the next, which can
complicate making plans.
• Some children may struggle not seeing a
parent for two full days.
• The week may feel broken up.
55
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time (continued)
Schedule 12: Split Week (4-3-3-4)
Split each week and weekend so that
parents have the same number of
overnights with the child.
Comment: This schedule requires
living arrangements (especially
distance between parents’ homes) that
limit the stress of transitions on the
child, especially if the child is in school,
since transitions occur mid-week and
both parents would be responsible for
transportation to and from school.
This variation has consistent weekend exchanges
and alternates Wednesday/Thursday exchanges.
This variation keeps weekday exchanges
consistent and alternates longer weekends.
Schedule 12a: Split Week (4-3-3-4)
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 12b: Split Week (4-3-3-4)
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
child won’t have much travel
between homes; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
The child sees each parent every three days.
• Offers consistency and predictability.
• Exchanges are minimal.
Disadvantages
• Neither parent has a full weekend.
56
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time (continued)
Schedule 13: Split Week with Alternating Weekends (5-2-2-5)
Each parent has the same two
consecutive weekday overnights
during the week and alternates the
weekends. If the child is in school, all
pickups and drop-offs can be at the
start and end of the school day.
Comment: This schedule requires a
high degree of communication and a
low level of conflict between parents.
It also requires living arrangements
(especially distance between parents’
homes) that limit the stress of
transitions on the child.
Schedule 13: Split Week with Alternating
Weekends (5-2-2-5)
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
child won’t have much travel
between homes; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
Consistency and predictability for week
days (school days).
• Parents have longer blocks of time to bond
with the child or take a trip (during school
breaks).
Disadvantages
• Some children may struggle not seeing a
parent for five full days.
57
Sample Parenting Time Schedules
Sample Schedules: Rotating Parenting Time (continued)
Schedule 14: Alternating Weeks
An equal parenting time schedule
where the child alternates spending a
full week with each parent. Some
families may wish to add a mid-week
visit or overnight with the other
parent to limit the number of
consecutive days the child is apart
from either parent.
CAUTION: This schedule may not
be appropriate for all children, young
children in particular.
This variation has 7 straight days of parenting
time with each parent.
This variation has a weekly midweek overnight
with the other parent.
Schedule 14a: Alternating Weeks
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Schedule 14b: Alternating Weeks
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Works in this situation:
• Both parents previously provided
the child’s day-to-day care and
guidance; AND
• Parents live close enough that the
school-age child can attend school
from either parent’s home; AND
• Parents can communicate and
cooperate well with each other
about the child’s care.
Advantages
•
Exchanges are limited.
• Parents have longer blocks of time to bond
with the child.
Disadvantages
• There is no day of the week consistency
from one week to the next, which can
complicate making plans.
•
Some children may struggle not seeing a
parent for several days in a row.
58
Parenting Time Worksheet for Parents
Parenting Time Worksheet for Parents
If you have more than one child, think about the relationships and needs of each child
separately and complete this for each child. As you work through these questions, you can
mark planned events on a Blank Calendar.
Your child’s name: _____________________________________________________
1. Are there safety concerns? Explain. This includes safety of the child, parent, and
safety during exchanges. ________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
If your answer is “maybe,” “sometimes,” or “yes,” read about Safety Concerns before
continuing.
2. How old is the child? _________________________
Read about Child Development and Parenting Time Considerations.
3. Does your child have any Medical Needs? __________________________________________________
If yes, how might this impact parenting time? ________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. How easily will your child be able to transition between homes? Consider the
child’s access to friends, other family members, pets, and any need to transport items like
clothing from home to home. ____________________________________________________________________
5. What is the travel time between the parents’ homes? ___________________________________
Short drive (or closer) Many types of schedules might work
Long drive See special considerations for Long Distance Parenting
Airplane flight See special considerations for Long Distance Parenting
6. Does either parent have driving restrictions or transportation issues? _____________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
7. Does your child have siblings, half siblings, or stepsiblings? ___________________________
If so, what are their schedules? ________________________________________________________________
See Children of Different Ages and Blended and Step Families.
8. What is the child’s schedule, such as sports, clubs, and other extracurricular
activities? Are both parents able to participate?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
9. Think about work schedules and other obligations for yourself and the other parent.
When are you each available to be with your child? _____________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Parenting Time Worksheet for Parents
10. How well can you and the other parent communicate and cooperate?
Well Direct and frequent exchanges might be okay.
Not well Less frequent exchanges may be better.
Continuous conflict Parents may want to pick up and drop off the child
at day care, school, or extracurricular activities. This prevents parents from
having any contact with each other. Another option may be having a third party
facilitate the exchange.
11. List any cultural practices or religious services that the child participates in with
either parent. ___________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
12. List any holidays that are important for your child to spend with you.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
List any holidays that are important for your child to spend with the other parent.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
13. Brainstorming your schedule.
What schedule do you think will work? _______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
What does the other parent think will work? _________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
If the schedules are different, what compromises can you make? ___________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
14. Describe the time, location, and any other details of parenting time exchanges.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Creating your Parenting Time Schedule and Plan
Try completing a Blank Calendar to see what the schedule could look like.
For ideas about parenting time schedules that work for other families, look at the Sample Parenting
Time Schedules. Customize sample schedules to match your family’s needs.
Make a list of other important items to include, such as a communication plan.
60
Parenting Time Assistance
Parenting Time Assistance
Spending time with each parent is important for maintaining the child-parent relationship.
As children grow older and as family’s schedules and circumstances change, sometimes it
may be difficult to continue with the parenting time schedule in the court order. It is
important to encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent. It is also important
to update the parenting time schedule and the parenting time court order when
circumstances change significantly.
Coordinating Changes without Court
Involvement
Some conflicts with the regular parenting time schedule are
normal because of unexpected events. If parents are able to
work together and agree to changes without arguments and
conflict, this is the best option.
Sometimes events happen during a child's time with the other
parent that the child would have attended if the parents were
together. If possible, parents should change parenting time so
the child can attend those events. Similarly, if a parent cannot
have parenting time because of events beyond the parent's
control, the parents should try to change parenting time so
the child can still have time with the parent.
If parents cannot agree about parenting time changes, FOC
offices can help parents if their court-ordered parenting time
is denied by the other parent. MCL 552.641.
Mediation Services
Mediation (a type of ADR) may be provided by a community dispute resolution center, the
FOC, or a private mediator.
During mediation, the parents meet with a person trained to help the parents resolve their
parenting time dispute. If the parents reach an agreement, the mediator will write up their
agreement, and it may become a court order. If the parents do not reach an agreement, the
court order stays the same.
Community Dispute Resolution Program
Each year, over 10,000 Michigan citizens resolve their disputes through mediation
services supported by the Community Dispute Resolution Program (CDRP). Most CDRP
centers have mediators trained in family law.
Updating your
court order
When parents agree to
make changes to the
parenting time schedule,
the FOC will not be able to
enforce any changes
unless the court order is
also updated.
Visit
MichiganLegalHelp.org
for information about
how to change a court
order.
61
Parenting Time Assistance
The mediation process is simple. Parents
begin by telling each other their side of the
story. The mediator helps parents identify
the issues which, if addressed to each
parent's satisfaction, would resolve the
dispute. Parents are invited to brainstorm
options for resolving the dispute, and the
mediator helps the parents narrow the
options until the one that best addresses all
the parents' interests is found. It is the
mediator's role to help parents move from
the impasse they are in when they begin
mediation to a resolution, resulting in a
written agreement.
Mediation at a CDRP center is either free or low cost. It can usually begin within two weeks
of contacting a center. A typical mediation session takes about two hours. There are 17
CDRP centers across Michigan. Parents can find the CDRP center serving their county
online at: https://www.courts.michigan.gov/administration/offices/office-of-dispute-
resolution/CDRP/cdrp-mediation-centers/.
Friend of the Court Mediation
All FOC offices offer custody and parenting time mediation services. Some FOC offices use
the CDRP centers to provide mediation services.
Selecting a Private Mediator
Each circuit court’s ADR clerk keeps a court-approved domestic mediator’s roster. These
mediators have completed required educational, training, and experience requirements.
This list may be on the court’s website; the ADR clerk in each court can provide the current
list.
Consulting an Attorney
Parents may also choose to work with an attorney to help resolve parenting time issues.
The State Bar of Michigan has a Lawyer Referral Service to match people with an attorney.
When working with an attorney, you can ask for help solving your problem without going
to court. You can also ask for limited scope representation, where the attorney only helps
with some parts of your case, and you do other things yourself.
CDRP Centers
62
Parenting Time Assistance
Asking for FOC Parenting Time Assistance: File a Complaint
If you believe the other parent is denying you parenting time, you may
seek FOC assistance. The first step in asking the FOC for help is to file a
written complaint that states all of the details of how you were denied
court-ordered parenting time. Most FOC offices have forms in the office
and on their website. FOC assistance is available if you can answer yes
to all of the following:
Do you have an FOC case?
Do you have a parenting time order? The FOC can only help if there is an order.
Does your order include specific days and times for parenting time? The FOC may
not be able to help when parents are exercising parenting time “as agreed” or
“reasonable parenting time.”
Did the other parent deny you parenting time on a day and time specified in your
order?
Did you submit a written complaint to the FOC within 56 days of the missed
parenting time?
If you can answer yes to all the questions above, your complaint may be eligible for FOC
enforcement. The FOC will send a copy of your written complaint to you and the other
parent within 14 days of the date the FOC receives the complaint. If the FOC cannot take
any action on your complaint, the FOC will notify you. The FOC may need more information
from you, or a response from the other parent, before taking any action.
If the FOC is able to help with denied parenting time, there are several actions the FOC can
take.
1. Apply Makeup Parenting Time
Makeup parenting time substitutes future parenting time for denied parenting
time.
If a parent files a parenting time complaint, and the FOC office can verify the
terms of the current court order may have been violated, then the FOC may send
a notice advising the parents that the parent who denied parenting time is required to
provide the other parent makeup parenting time unless the parents object within 21 days.
Using Makeup Parenting Time
If neither parent objects, the FOC will send another notice to the parents indicating that the
makeup parenting time must occur. The makeup parenting time must occur within one
year, and must be the same type as the parenting time that was denied.
Example: A parent receives one weekend of makeup parenting time if one weekend was
denied. The wrongfully denied parent is required to notify both the FOC and the other
parent in writing not less than one week before using makeup weekend or weekday
parenting time and not less than 28 days before using makeup holiday or summer
parenting time.
63
Parenting Time Assistance
If either parent objects to makeup parenting time, the FOC will select another enforcement
procedure.
2. Schedule Mediation
The FOC may offer mediation to resolve a parenting time dispute. If the
parents refuse mediation or do not reach an agreement, the FOC may select
another enforcement procedure.
3. Schedule a Joint Meeting
The FOC may schedule a joint meeting at which the parents meet with FOC
staff to discuss solutions to the alleged parenting time violation. The joint
meeting usually addresses minor issues such as pickup/drop-off times, small
schedule changes, or the return of a child’s belongings after parenting time. If
the parents reach an agreement, the FOC employee will prepare the agreement and ask the
judge to sign it. If the parents do not reach an agreement, FOC staff may still submit a
recommendation to the court.
If either parent disagrees with the recommendation, the parent must object in writing
within 21 days after it was sent or the court may sign it as an order. If a parent objects, a
judge or referee will hold a hearing to resolve the parenting time dispute.
4. Schedule a Contempt Hearing
For more serious violations, the FOC may schedule a contempt hearing, often
called a show cause hearing.
At this hearing, the alleged violating parent has an opportunity to explain to the judge or
referee the reasons for violating the court order, or prove the violation did not occur. A
judge or referee who finds a parent violated the court order without a good reason can do
any of the following:
• Place additional terms in the order;
• Modify the parenting time order (if a parent has filed a motion to change the order);
• Order makeup parenting time;
• Order a fine of $100 or less;
• Commit the parent to jail or an alternative to jail with work release (not more than
45 days for the first contempt finding and no more than 90 days for any additional
contempt finding);
• Order the parent to participate in a community corrections program; or
• Place the parent under the supervision of the FOC.
5. Request Modification of Parenting Time
The FOC may ask the court to change the parenting time order. Usually the FOC
only requests modification when it is clear that the existing order is not
workable and that the parents do not have the ability or opportunity to modify
the order on their own.